Lie To Me
by AwakeAndAliveSpartan
Summary: Everything he had ever done to betray the team has been erased from Ward's memory. He doesn't know that he's the team's enemy and he believes that he's always been a loyal SHIELD agent. Can the team accept this new Ward or not? And when memories start to rise to the surface, Ward can't decipher what's the truth or what's a lie. And some things are best kept hidden.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One (You've Been Erased)**

(Location Unknown)

"Sir, our technicians have finally gotten the machine up and running. All that's left is to test it. There's no telling how well it will work though. The specs for it were stolen from SHIELD."s no telling how well it will work though. The specs for it were stolen from SHIELD."

"Believe it or not, this program is said to work well. The Director himself was in charge of it and went through it himself. The main part of it was bringing the dead back to life and then the erasure of memories. I'm only interested in the latter right now for brainwashing. The dead will come later."

"So, how do we test it? I assume some of the prisoners?"

"Yes, that will work. There's one in particular I want erased though. Ex-Hydra agent that was embedded inside of SHIELD. Went alone for awhile and for some reason tried to take ahold of my organization. That's why he was captured.

Erase his memories of Hydra and leave him for dead. SHIELD will kill him if they find him. This is just a test run and I want to see how well it works. Targeting specific memories."

"I'll get agents to go and retrieve him. I assume you're talking about the crazy bastard, right?"

"Exactly. The one hell-bent on revenge against SHIELD. I like where he's going, but he's too weak to do so. So I don't care about him. Wipe him and throw him to the wolves. In this case, SHIELD."

"Yes, sir. And what do we do if it doesn't work? If it kills him or drives him mad? There's SHIELD reports of this machine doing so."

"But that was SHIELD's machine, not ours. Ours won't do such. But if it does, just keep going through the prisoners. They're expendable. No one will miss them. I just want a way for brainwashing to be a little more effective.

I know we use memory erasure sometimes, like with the Winter Soldier program, but it's unreliable. This machine is said to keep the memories gone. Sometimes they come back, but it's unlikely. Get the prisoner and wipe him.

Don't let him fight you. Don't underestimate him. He's deadly. A danger against Hydra. I'm not going through the trouble of brainwashing him. Destroy SHIELD with a ghost. Blah, blah, blah.

SHIELD will fall sooner or later, but it's not coming at the hands of this bastard. Get him and wipe him."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

(Elsewhere, Some Time Later)

Ward groaned as harsh, hot light filtered through his eyelids. He peeled his eyes opened and sat up, finding himself on gravel just outside of an abandoned building. His head hurt like hell and everything felt fuzzy.

He pulled himself to his feet and surveyed his surroundings. "How the hell did I get here?" he asked himself, brushing off his jacket. He couldn't remember how he got there or why he was there.

Blank. It was all blank.

Looking towards the building, Ward saw a small symbol emblazoned on the side of a door. A skull will multiple appendages. Hydra.

His stomach fell and turned to ice. Hydra? Why was he outside of a Hydra base? "Hydra? How? I don't remember…" he began. He reached for a gun, but found that he had nothing on him other than the clothes on his back.

Someone had dumped him here. But why? Ward's head hurt way too much to even think. Nothing made sense for him at the moment.

Shaking his head, Ward began to walk around the base trying to figure out anything about the reason to why he was dumped here with no memory of so. He couldn't even remember what he had been doing beforehand. There was SHIELD and then nothing.

Why did Hydra have him? He knew that he had nothing to do with Hydra. Had they captured him?

Ward groaned, gripping the back of his head as he continued to walk. After awhile, he stopped as voices began to filter through the area towards him. He hid behind a construct against the wall and listened.

"Why the hell would Hydra send us a location of all things?"

"Shut up, Hunter. I know it's weird, but stop complaining. Just listen to Coulson and get going."

"Bobbi's right. Just look for anything. I know that we're short one since May is back at base dealing with a few things, so we've got to be on guard."

"Just tell Hunter to stop talking."

Ward's stomach fell. He didn't know the first two voices, but he knew the last two. Coulson and Skye.

"Oh thank God." he muttered. "I'm not left for dead here. They found me."

Ward left his hiding place and ran towards the source of the voices. He found them in an opening in front of the abandoned base. He ran towards them and yelled.

"Coulson! Skye! I'm here!"

The four agents froze in their tracks and spun towards Ward with their guns pointed at him. Ward stopped near them, noticing anger and resentment on their faces. His eyes drifted to the guns.

"Guys?" he asked.

Coulson pointed at him with the gun, motioning towards the ground, "Get to the ground. Now." he barked harshly.

"I don't… I don't understand…" Ward said, confusion and fear lacing his voice.

"Get on the ground before I shoot you!" Coulson hissed. "Don't think that we're going to let you go again. Now drop any weapons you might have and get on the damn ground."

A dumbfounded look etched itself onto Ward's face. He looked to Skye for an answer, "Skye? What's going on?"

Hate seethed in her eyes, "Don't play dumb with me, asshole." she spat. "You know exactly what's going on."

"N-No, I don't." Ward stammered. He looked to the blonde female agent and the short-haired male agent, the ones he didn't know. "Who are these guys?"

"Like you don't know." the man spat. He was British.

"I don't! Someone tell me what the hell is going on here!" Ward exclaimed, confused out of his mind. "Why the hell are you threatening to shoot me?! I've never done anything to hurt you! What the hell is going on?!"

All Ward remembered next was a high-pitch noise and his entire body going cold. His eyelids grew heavy and he passed out unconscious onto the gravel ground.

Skye wrinkled her nose in disgust, "What was that all about?" she asked.

"Trying to play us." Bobbi scoffed. "He knew what was going on. He's playing games."

"Call for recovery and get this bastard to the Vault." Coulson ordered. "He's not running away again.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. Something that popped in my head over the week. Ward's been erased of his memories of Hydra and he thinks that he's always been SHIELD. So how will that work out? Not good at all when the entire team is on your ass. I hope you enjoy! Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	2. Chapter 2 (All The Pain You Fed)

**Chapter Two (All The Pain You Fed)**

(Hours Later)

Ward awoke with a groan, light once again filtering through his sore eyes. He sat up on what seemed to be a cot, his head pounding like a drum in a rock band. God, it hurt.

He tried to move, but found his wrists bound together by a pair of strange-looking handcuffs. The memories of waking in a Hydra base and the team hating and shooting him hit him like a train. Alongside his stomach turning to lead, Ward looked at his surroundings as he managed to sit up.

Gray brick. Everywhere. Except for a white wall in front of him. Some kind of prison cell. Was this SHIELD?

And it finally hit him. He was imprisoned, by the very people he called friends. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Why had they treated him with such scorn? He had never done anything to hurt them. Well, so he believed.

He looked down the the cuffs binding his hands, "Either I'm dreaming or I've been sent to some alternate dimension, 'cause none of this can be happening." he muttered to himself. "I've done nothing wrong. Nothing. What's going on?"

Ward surveyed his surroundings again. But there was nothing to see other than gray concrete and the cot he was sitting on. Not even a bathroom. If this was some kind of cell, it was a torture cell.

Taking a sharp breath, Ward swung his legs back into the cot and laid back down, staring up at the ceiling. The events from earlier replayed in his head, just like a movie. Over and over, until it started to drive him crazy.

Coulson and Skye had looked at him with such malice, like he was the Devil himself. But why? And those other two agents… Who were they and why did they look at him the same exact way Coulson and Skye had? They were looking at him like he was some kind of monster intent on killing him.

But he wasn't. Right?

Ward groaned softly again as another wave of pain pulsed through his head. What did they hit him with? An ICER? So they didn't want him dead. Yet. Again, the same question hit him. Why?

He closed his eyes, allowing his thoughts to overrun him. He just wanted it to all end. Whatever the hell this was. And he just wanted to see Skye again. Skye… What had he done to her to turn her against him like that? Last thing he remembered was her caring smile as she hung onto him.

Sleep slowly and surely overcame him eventually. Maybe when he woke up all of this would be gone and he would be back with the team laughing and joking around with them once again.

But he was far from right. Far from it.

* * *

(Upstairs)

Coulson frowned and watched the footage of Ward sleeping. He shook his head and turned, coming to face May and Skye. "I just don't get it. Sleeping? That's rare for Ward." he stated. "Something's not right here."

May raised an eyebrow, "It's Ward. He's not right." she retorted, crossing her arms. "His entire being is not right."

Coulson sighed and glanced back to the monitor, "I know that, Mel. He's crazy. He's insane. But something else is not right. When we came in contact with him, he had no damn idea what was going on. He didn't even know who Hunter and Morse were. Something's not right." he explained.

"He's fooling you." Skye spat. "That's what he does. Fools you, tries to get back on your good side. Then he hits you again."

Coulson shook his head again, "I just don't know what it is. He doesn't seem like his normal, bastard self. Something is off." he restated. "Skye, you remember what we saw. He didn't know why we were taking him in. He may be fooling us, but I want to find out what the hell is going on."

Skye furrowed her eyebrows, "Please don't tell me that you intend on sending him down there." she stated coldly.

"No. I'm going." Coulson responded, reaching for the tablet that controlled the Vault's systems. "Ask him a few questions, that's it."

"Phil, don't let him get into your head. He lies. That's all he does." May said, looking Coulson in the eyes.

"Who's the one with the controls to the cell?" Coulson asked, holding up the tablet. "I have the upperhand here. If he tries anything, which is highly unlikely here, I'll deal with him. So don't worry about me."

Coulson took another glance at Ward's sleeping form on the screen, "And honestly, for some damn reason, I don't think he'll try anything."

* * *

(Back In The Vault)

Ward jolted up as heard a door slam. He looked over to see the white wall from earlier had disappeared. His eyes adjusted to see the cell opened into an even bigger room. A lone, metal chair stood in the middle of the room, and next to it stood Coulson.

With a gulp, Ward stood to his feet, "Coulson?" he asked. "What the hell am I doing in here? What is this?" He started to come forward, but Coulson held up a hand, which held a tablet, for him to stop. Ward blinked, realizing that Coulson's other hand was in a sling.

"Don't come any further, Ward." Coulson said sharply. "You're good right there. Tell me, why were you at that Hydra base?"

Ward's face fell, "I have no damn idea, Coulson. I woke up there in the gravel for God's sakes." he replied, confusion in his voice. "I don't know. I don't know how I got there and why I was there. I have nothing to do with Hydra. Then I find you and Skye, along with those other two agents, and you're acting like I'm a demon.

I've done nothing to hurt you, Coulson. I swear on it." Ward took a breath and looked down to the cuffs still binding his wrists. "I don't know what's going on, I don't. I don't even know where the hell I am. Coulson, please, tell me what's going on."

Coulson frowned, not sure whether Ward was truthful or not, "You know what you did, you bastard." he stated coldly. "Stop playing dumb."

Confusion filled Ward's face, "I'm not playing dumb, Coulson!" he exclaimed, his voice taking a sharper tone. "I really don't know what's going on! Last thing I remember was being on the Bus getting ready for some mission, then nothing. It's all blank. Now I'm here being treated like I'm some kind of monster." he went on. "I've done nothing to hurt you. I don't know what's going on, Coulson." Ward's face had taken on a broken look to his, sadness and confusion in his eyes. "Please. I'm telling you the truth."

Coulson's stomach fell at Ward's words. Did he not really know what was going on? Was it possible that he was suffering from some form of amnesia, wiping out the past year and a half? No, Coulson felt like it was more than that.

Ward said he had nothing do with Hydra, but he did. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Without saying anything else, Coulson activated the opaque barrier and went back upstairs, leaving Ward to himself.

Ward looked longingly and sadly at the white barrier that locked him in the empty cell. "I did nothing." he whimpered, backing up towards the bed and sitting back down on it. He let his cuffed wrists hang loosely as he stared at the concrete floor. "I did nothing wrong. Why won't he believe me?"

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Ward still has no idea what's happening and Coulson is starting to slowly figure out that there could be something wrong with Ward. But will he be able to figure out exactly what happened to Ward? Maybe. Maybe not. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (And don't worry about Let It Burn and Start Again, I'll try with those tomorrow. Slight writer''s block with them.) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	3. Chapter 3 (Fight To Forget You)

**Chapter Three (Fight To Forget You)**

(Two Days Later)

"Thanks for coming, Dr. Garner." Coulson said as the psychologist sat in the chair opposite of his desk. "I don't know what to do with the man. So, is he crazy? What's wrong with him?"

"Please, Coulson, just call me Andrew." Andrew replied with a soft smile. "And no, Ward is not crazy like you call him to be. But you made a good call with calling me here. There's other issues with him. I can't even pinpoint any mental issues right now, because there's something else masking them."

Coulson raised an eyebrow, "'Something else'?" he asked. "What's that?"

"Amnesia."

"Well, I at least figured that, Andrew." Coulson responded, rubbing his injured arm. "But there's still something weird with it."

Andrew nodded, "Yes, there is. It's amnesia, but some weird form. It's not like he hit his head and lost his memories. And it's not dissociative amnesia in which he's blocking out painful, traumatic memories by completely forgetting them. It doesn't seem like that.

The memories he lost are way too specific. Just Hydra memories." Andrew continued. "Ward believes that he's a loyal SHIELD agent, that he always has been. There's no Hydra in his brain."

"So it's like it never happened to him?" Coulson asked.

"Exactly. But the fact that he woke up outside of a Hydra base with no memory of how he got there and why he was there really gets me. I believe that this amnesia could possibly had been done to him." Andrew explained.

Coulson's face fell, "Done to him? You mean that his memories were erased?"

Andrew nodded again, "Yes, that's what I think." he replied. "It's possible that Hydra did this to him for some God-forsaken reason."

Coulson gulped, "Hydra sent us a signal." he stated. "And it led us straight to Ward."

"Sounds like they were giving you a present of an amnesiac Ward." Andrew laughed slightly. "Coulson, I don't understand Hydra whatsoever, but that sounds like what they were doing. They essentially gave you a blank slate.

Ward's willing to do whatever you say." he continued. "From what I can gather with my talk with him, he's loyal. He has no recollection of his betrayal and becoming the villain. Coulson, the Ward you have locked up down there does not deserve or needs to be in there."

Coulson narrowed his eyes at Andrew, "So what are you saying?" he questioned.

"Ward does not need to be locked away." Andrew responded. "He is not fooling you. He really does not have any recollection of what he's done. And I know that the man doesn't have the best mental state, so locking him up when he has no clue to why he's in there does nothing good for him. It'll only make things worse."

"Andrew, you know that I can't have him running around."

"Give him a chance, Coulson. He doesn't know the person he really is. And if this is something Hydra's done to him, there's no telling if those memories will ever come back. Let him free in the base. Yes, keep him on close surveillance for awhile. It'll do him some good." Andrew explained.

Coulson took a sharp breath before responding, "I'll talk to him myself and ask him a few personal questions." he replied. "Then I'll make my own decision. If he really doesn't know these things I'm going to ask him… Well, then Hydra really did something to him."

* * *

(In The Vault)

Ward looked down at his handcuffs, his head still spinning from the psychologist's questions. Why had Coulson sent in a psychologist? He wasn't crazy. Was he? He started to mutter to himself.

"My name is Agent Grant Ward. No… That's, that's not right." he mumbled. "I'm not an agent. Now I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm nobody. A monster in the eyes of the people I thought were my friends. A psychopath. Yes… That's what I am. A psychopath. I'm crazy. Delusional. I'm insane…"

Ward buried his head in his cuffed hands and started to sob. He was even breaking down. He never cried. That wasn't who he was. Grant Ward wasn't a crier. But now, he had no clue who he was.

The people he thought were friends swore that he was a monster that apparently did some horrendous thing to them. But he had no idea what that was. No one would tell him. No one even came to see him. Only Coulson, but briefly.

He continued to keep his head buried until the slamming of a door and footsteps down stairs jerked his attention. Ward looked up to see Coulson standing by the metal chair once again. But this time he didn't move towards the barrier.

"You here to call me a monster again for no damn reason?" Ward asked softly.

Coulson shook his head as he took a seat in the cold chair, "No, I'm not. I'm just going to ask a few questions. That's all." he said, noticing that Ward had been crying. Something was wrong for Ward to be crying.

"Go ahead, that psychologist about picked me apart. But he still wouldn't tell me what's going on." Ward mumbled, looking down.

Coulson sighed, "What's the last thing you remember?" he asked.

"I already told you. We were getting ready for a mission on the Bus." Ward replied, still looking down.

Coulson nodded, "Does the name Kara Palamas mean anything to you?"

Ward frowned and looked up, "No, why should it?" he questioned. "Never heard of that name."

Coulson's heart skipped a beat, but he only nodded. "How about Daniel Whitehall?"

"No."

"Sunil Bakshi?"

"No."

"Do you remember any events in San Juan, Puerto Rico?"

"No. Again, why should I?"

"How about Centipede or Cybertek?"

"Weren't we chasing Centipede at one point?" Ward asked, growing confused at Coulson's questions.

"Yes, we were. A long time ago." Coulson responded softly, finally realizing that Ward had absolutely no clue what was going on. One more question popped into his head, one that he knew would be the final nail in the coffin. "One more question, Ward, then we'll be done here. Does the name John Garrett mean anything to you?" he asked.

Ward's face scrunched up, like something rang a bell. But then he shook his head, confusion as clear as day on his face, "No, it doesn't. Again, what does any of these questions have to do with me, Coulson? I'm not following what's going on here."

Coulson's stomach grew cold at Ward's answer. So it was true that everything that had to do with Hydra and even Garrett was erased from Ward's memory. It was like none of that ever happened. It was like Ward had always been a perfect, loyal SHIELD agent.

"Are we done here, sir?" Ward asked. "I… I just want to go to sleep. My head hurts."  
Coulson took a sharp breath and nodded, coming to his feet, "Yes, we are." he replied softly. "We're done for now. You can sleep. I'll be back later to talk a bit more with you. I have a few things to do."

Ward nodded, looking down at the ground, "O-Okay." he stammered. "Please just tell me that I'm not going to rot in here."

Coulon gulped. He wasn't ready for a question like that. "No, you're not. There's been a few, uh, misunderstandings. You're not going to be in here forever."  
Ward looked up, a glimmer of hope in his dull, broken eyes, "Really? Y-You mean it?"

All Coulson could do was nod and smile. There was no way that the man that sat on the other side of the barrier was the murderous psychopath they had been dealing with. This new Ward was almost like an overgrown puppy. Everything that made him a cocky, villainous asshole had been erased. This was an entirely different Ward.

Ward watched sadly as Coulson ascended the staircase and left him alone all again. The loneliness hit him once again, along with the confusion that surrounded everything that was happening.

And all he could do was bury his head in his hands.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Coulson brings in Dr. Garner to look at Ward and he concludes that Hydra did something to him to erase his memories. And Coulson makes the final confirmation that Ward isn't the same Ward anymore. Good, right? And don't worry, there's Skyeward to come soon. (And my other fic Start Again will be updated tomorrow. Still planning the chapter out.) Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 16?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	4. Chapter 4 (Ashes of Eden)

**Chapter Four (Ashes of Eden)**

"You're thinking of _what_?!" Skye exclaimed as the team stared at Coulson in disbelief. "Repeat that again so I can make sure I actually heard that right."

Coulson took a sharp breath. He knew that this resistance would happen. But he was prepared to talk back. "I said, I'm planning on letting Ward out of the Vault. Under a few restrictions of course." he stated slowly. "He's to be monitored at all times and is to wear a tracking bracelet. No missions. And any weird activity will result in him going straight back to the Vault."

"You've got to be crazy." Hunter scoffed, crossing his arms. "That man's a bloody psychopath and you're letting him run around here? If there's a vote here then I'm saying no."

Bobbi looked at Hunter and then back to Coulson, "Believe it or not, I'm agreeing with Lance. And that says a whole lot." She shook her head and scoffed, "Coulson, that man tried to kill Hunter and I got tortured and almost killed in the process. Why do you think that it's such a good idea to let him out now?" she questioned, narrowing her eyes.

She was making a good point. Everyone thought that Ward was the closest thing to the Devil on Earth. Each of them, except Mack, had a reason to why Ward should stay locked up. Mack just went with what everyone else said.

"Morse is right." May agreed. "Ward does not need to be let out of that cell. He's crazy."

"Your ex doesn't seem to think so." Coulson stated.

May's face fell, "You called in Andrew over Ward?!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cause I knew it would work better if no one knew. I called him 'cause I sensed that there's something far worse wrong with Ward than him being 'crazy'. And apparently he's not 'crazy'. He's got mental issues of course, but Andrew couldn't pinpoint them because of something else."

Simmons frowned, "Something else?" she asked. "What worse could be wrong with that lunatic?"

"Amnesia. And not due to an accident." Coulson responded. "Andrew believes, due to the weird circumstances of Ward's behavior, that Hydra did it to him. That Hydra wiped his memories of Hydra." He took a breath, "He believe that he's always been a loyal SHIELD agent.

He doesn't remember betraying us, none of that. It's strange. Even his weird assholic nature was erased. He's overly eager. Very strange." Coulson continued. "Like a dog."

"Then he's been brainwashed." Fitz stated simply. "That has to be it. He's brainwashed."

Coulson shook his head, "There's no evidence of brainwashing." he responded. "He's his normal self, minus the Hydra crap. He… I asked him a few more personal questions. He didn't know who Agent 33 was. Or Whitehall." He took another breath, "He didn't even know who John Garrett was."

Skye, Fitzsimmons, and May's faces dropped at that last statement. And that's how they knew that the Ward sitting in the basement wasn't the Ward that they had been chasing. For him to not know who Garrett was…. That was a big thing.

"That can't be possible, can it?" Skye asked. "He's got to be playing you. There's no way that he's 'forgotten' something that big." She was still hesitant to believe that Ward wasn't the bad guy anymore.

Coulson nodded slowly, "Well, it is. And Andrew believes that it's not good for Ward to be locked up when he has no clue to why he's there. I thought it over, and for a while too, and I decided to let him back with us. But take that term lightly, 'cause he's not really 'with us'.

He'll be staying here where we can watch him. And like I said earlier, he'll have a tracking bracelet and any weird behaviors will send him straight back to the Vault. This is my decision and I'll be responsible for anything he does."

The team didn't say anything, but only looked at Coulson in awkward silence.

"I'll… I'll take that as an yes. But there is one rule though. Do not, under any circumstances, remind him of what he's done. I don't know what will happen if those memories come back. And I'd like to keep this Ward under control."

* * *

(Right Outside the Vault)

"We'll be keeping an eye on you to make sure that things go okay." Coulson said, looking Ward firmly in the eyes. "And you're to keep that bracelet on no matter what. Is that clear?"  
Ward nodded, "Yes, sir." he replied. He took a breath and looked down, "I really wish that you would tell me what's going on." he said softly. "If it's something bad, you can tell me."

Coulson only gave him a half-hearted smile, "Trust me, you don't want to know. Some things are better left a secret." he responded. "You're free to move about the base, but you might want to stay to your room, which I'll show you, for awhile. Until things die down. You can't go on any missions until I say so." He started walking down the hallway and motioned for Ward to follow him.

Ward frowned, but he shrugged and followed Coulson anyway, "So, what is this place anyways?" he asked.

"The Playground. SHIELD's headquarters for now." Coulson responded, keeping his eyes ahead. "Part of it's underground and it's several buildings."

Ward nodded and keep his distance behind Coulson, still following him to what he assumed would be his room. He didn't say anything to the Director, only because he didn't know what else to say and didn't want to make things awkward between them.

Coulson accepted this quiet and continued to lead Ward down the halls, until something stopped Ward.

Ward's eyes had drifted down another hallway and he had stopped, seeing Skye standing there. A smile perked on his lips and he dashed away from Coulson, "Skye!" he yelled. "Wait!"

Coulson's eyes widened as he heard this, and he spun around to run after Ward, "Grant, stop! Come back here!"

Ward stopped just behind Skye right as she was turning around, a disgusted look on her face. He frowned, noticing her expression, "Skye, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Why are you here?" Skye asked coldly. "Why?"

"T-To see you." Ward stammered. "I don't know what's going on and why I was locked up… And you didn't come to see me… I thought that something was wrong."

Skye scoffed, "Yeah, with you."

Coulson stopped just a ways from them. He knew that he didn't want to bother them. He gulped and stood there to watch.

Ward's face fell, "I-I don't understand." he stammered once more. "Why are you acting this way?"

"'Cause it's you, you arrogant bastard." Skye spat.

It felt as though Ward had taken a shot to the heart. Why was Skye acting this way towards him? He thought that she loved him. What was going on?

"Skye, I don't know what you mean." Ward stated sadly. "I-I don't. Look, I have no idea what's going on now. Why is everyone acting so hostile towards me?" he asked. "And why won't anyone tell me?"  
Skye scoffed again, "Clueless as ever. And let's keep it that way, you ass."

Ward took Skye's hand, "Skye… I thought… I thought that you loved me." he asking brokenly.

Skye's twisted up and she pulled her hand from his grasp, "Love you?" she retorted. "As if. No one will ever love you. Now get away from me and leave me alone." she hissed, turning around and walking away.

Ward's stomach turned to what seemed to be pure ice. His knees buckled and he fell to them. Coulson now came up to him, not sure what to say.

Ward looked up to Coulson with the hints of tears in his eyes, "Coulson, I don't understand. What's going on here? I did nothing to Skye!" he exclaimed. He came to his knees and swung his fist into the wall.

Coulson winced as he heard the crack of bones, "I'm sure that it's just a misunderstanding." he said lightly.

Ward looked at the blood that was now running from his knuckles and then to Coulson, "Look, I'm tired of all of this 'misunderstanding' crap." he almost growled. "Something's wrong and it all points back to me apparently. And you're hiding it from me."

"I'm hiding nothing from you."

"I have eyes, Coulson. I see it. You're edgey around me." Ward shot back. "I did nothing to hurt you guys. And now…" He looked down and clenched his uninjured hard. "Skye hates my guts." he said, heartbroken. "I thought that we had something going. Now it's gone. I have no damn idea what's going on. Everything's against me."

Coulson shook his head, "Now you're just exaggerating." he said. "Things will be better soon." He looked to Ward's bleeding hand, "Now, let's get you some medical attention."

Ward hesitantly accepted Coulson's offer. His whole body was numb, heartbroken from Skye's rejection of him. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he would find out eventually.

But some things are best kept hidden.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Ward is let out of the Vault, despite protests from the team. And Skye rejects Ward, leaving him heartbroken and more confused than ever. But will he find out what is going on, or will that stay hidden? And what is the repercussions if he finds out? That's for you to find out! Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 20?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	5. Chapter 5 (Love Left Me Hollow)

**Chapter Five (Love Left Me Hollow)**

Coulson watched with a frown on his face as Ward left the medical bay, his hand wrapped up since he had broke two knuckles and fractured a few other bones when he had punched the wall in anger earlier. The Director shook his head and turned to look at Simmons, who had hesitantly agreed to patch Ward up.

"I don't understand it, Simmons." he stated. "I don't know what Hydra did to erase his memories, but it messed him up."

Simmons raised an eyebrow, "Sir, he was messed up before all of this. What makes you think that he's even worse than he was?"she questioned, crossing her arms. "He can't be worse than what he was."

Coulson shrugged, "His behavior is off." he replied. "Simmons, I've seen him break down and _cry_ in the past two days. Whoever Ward really is, that isn't him. He's never cried, no matter what persona he's thrown at us. And he's snapped more than usual. I believe that he's becoming mentally unstable due to whatever Hydra subjected him to."

Simmons nodded slowly and turned her gaze to the x-ray of Ward's hand on the screen near her. "Sir, you never said why Ward punched the wall and broke his hand." she commented. "What caused him to do so?"

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose with his one hand, "Skye." he said simply. "Ward found Skye in the hallway and ran to talk to her. Skye was, well, _vile_ to him. Called him an 'arrogant bastard'."

Simmons scoffed, "No offense, sir, but he was." she responded. Well, it had been true before, but not now.

"Emphasis on _was._ " Coulson reiterated. "But whatever Hydra did to him erased that." He sighed and decided to continue the story. "And of course, Ward had no damn idea to why Skye was acting like that.

The last thing he remembered about her was that she loved him and they had something going on between them." Coulson shook his head, glancing at the x-ray. "Skye denied him and told him that no one would ever love him and stormed off. Ward broke down and started to cry. Then he claimed that I'm hiding something from him."

Simmons blinked, "But isn't that exactly what you're doing?" she asked.

"Yeah, I know. But it's for a good reason. Ward was a good agent before everything. And if all of this Hydra crap is gone from him, then he could be a good agent all over again."

Simmons shook her head and crossed her arms once more, "Did you ever consider that keeping things from him could be a _bad_ thing?" she argued. "As much as I would like to have the old Ward back, believe it or not, I think this whole secretive thing could end badly. And if he's already questioning it, he'll find out eventually. And once he figures out that we were keeping something like that from him," She paused, waving to Fitz and Mack who passed by outside of the med bay.

She turned her attention back to the Director, "Anyways, if he finds that out, that will only drive him away from us again." she finished. "Sir, if you want to keep him close, you might want to consider telling him somehow."

Coulson took a long breath. Simmons _was_ right, even about the man she hated the most. But he still didn't want to tell Ward yet. Just because he had no clue how to. He shook his head, "No, not yet." he stated.

Simmons sighed and looked to the side, "You realize that this is _Ward_ of all damn people." she stated, kind of coldly. "Hell, this all may be a ruse to get our trust."  
"I don't know how you fake amnesia like that. And even Dr. Garner believes that the amnesia is real. Simmons, I don't even know what's going on." Coulson said. "I just want to know what Hydra used to target specific memories like that."

"Perhaps they got new tech?" Simmons inquired. "That's always a possibility with Hydra."

"I know that. And that's always bad, bad news."

* * *

(Elsewhere)

Ward had managed to find the room Coulson had been guiding him to earlier, before everything that had happened. He collapsed onto the room's bed and stared up at the ceiling.

The room wasn't much. There was a bed, desk, two tables by the bed, a small TV, and a small bathroom. Way much better than that cell he had been in not much earlier.

His eyes drifted to his wrapped-up hand, and the memories of earlier came swarming back into his head. He wanted them to block them out as much as possible, but it wasn't possible. He couldn't.

Skye had acted so hostile towards him. But why? He knew that Coulson was hiding something from him about him. Ward knew that something he just couldn't remember had happened between him and the team.

The memories of waking up outside of that Hydra base came back. Was it possible that Hydra had done something to him? But what?

Ward groaned and placed his good hand over his head, feeling what he knew would be a massive headache forming. Everything swarmed around in his head. The team's actions towards him. The Hydra base. Skye. Coulson keeping secrets from him.

He honestly had no clue to what was going on anymore.

He groaned again and laid there for what seemed to be an eternity to him, until what seemed to be a scream cut through the stark silence.

"Ward!"

Ward shot up as the scream echoed out. He immediately knew that it was Fitz. But why would Fitz be screaming out his name like that? Especially now since it seemed like he hated him.

"I thought you cared about us, Ward!"

Ward's stomach fell and his eyes widened. And it suddenly felt like there was pressure in his head, something squeezing his brain. And there was roaring in his ears. Like he was thousands of feet in the air. In a plane.

"Ward!"

Now that was Simmons.

His stomach felt like it had flipped over about three times as he bolted out into the hallway, throwing open the door. "Fitz! Simmons!" he screamed.

But no one was there. The hallway was empty, except for a lone agent who gave him a weird glance as he walked by.

But the roaring continued to grow louder in his ears, despite there being no source of a sound like that. Fitzsimmons' screams echoed in his head, just like they were right in front of him. But they weren't.

Ward ran back into his room, slamming the door. The roaring grew and grew, as the screams continued to ring out. He fell to the ground, clutching at his head with his hands, ignoring the pain in his broken hand.

"Make it stop!" he screamed "Make it stop!"

But, of course, the sounds continued to grow louder in his head, sending him into agony. And he continued to lay there on the floor, head held in his hands, breathing hard and fast as it felt like his head was splitting open. And the screams continued to ring out.

"I thought you cared about us, Ward!"

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So whatever Hydra did to Ward really messed him up. And it seems like memories are starting to come through, via painful hallucinations. And for those wondering about the weirdness of Ward crying, it points to what the TAHITI machine did to him. It did more to him than erase memories. So that's the reason for that. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 22?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	6. Chapter 6 (I've Come Undone)

**Chapter Six (I've Come Undone)**

When Ward came out of whatever the hell it was, he was disoriented and his head hurt like hell. He blinked and realized that he was lying on the floor, he crawled over to the bed and slowly pulled himself to his feet. Dizzy, Ward looked around and his eyes rested on the clock by his bed.

Nine at night. His stomach fell. Hadn't it been like four in the afternoon when he got in here? So he had spent five hours writhing in agony as screams from nowhere pounded his head? But it didn't feel like that, it only felt like ten minutes at the most.

Fear crawled its way into Ward's stomach. What was wrong with him? "I-I'm going crazy…" he muttered, gripping the side of the bed. "I don't know what's wrong with me… Everyone hates me and I don't know why…"

Hunger gnawed at his stomach and Ward realized that he had been several hours since he had eaten last. He moved erratically towards the door, dizzy and disoriented. His broken hand ached like hell, so the painkillers Simmons had given him must've worn off.

Ward slowly opened the door and stuck his head into the hallway to make sure that no one was there. He made his way down the hallway, trying to find the kitchen. And it wasn't that hard, it was just down the hallway from his room.

Ward entered the empty kitchen and headed for the fridge to find something to eat. But a voice interrupted him just as he opened the fridge door.

"Hey."

He froze up and turned around, letting the door close, seeing Skye standing there. She gripped her arm in anxiety. There was a regretful look on her face.

Ward gulped, "A-Are you really there?" he asked. "A-Are you real?"

Skye's face fell, "What?" she questioned. "Of course I'm real. Are you okay?"

Ward shook his head, "Forget that I asked that." he said, his voice broken and tired. "My pain meds wore off."

Skye's eyes drifted to the bandaging that covered Ward's left hand, "Yeah, Coulson told me that you broke it." she mumbled.

Ward raised an eyebrow, "Did he tell you why?" he asked, just a hint of anger finding its way into his voice.

Skye's eyes drifted to the floor, "Yeah, he did. Look, Ward, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I let my anger towards you get the best of me."

Ward blinked, "I don't know why anyone is angry is towards me." he responded. "And no one will tell me. I know I had to do something big to you guys, but I don't know what that is."

Skye sighed, "It's in the past, Ward. And it's something that no one likes to mention anymore." she said.

"Look, Skye, stop skirting around the answer. I want to know what I've done. And I don't know why it's such a big secret. Tell me if you have to." he said coldly. "Stop lying to me. Skye, look…" Ward took a long, sharp breath, "I love you. I do. But I don't think I can when you keep things from me. Especially things about me."

He started to walk past Skye, "I understand that you're trying to apologize for earlier, but it doesn't help when I don't know why you acted that way towards me." he said. "Come back to me when you can actually tell me what the hell is going on around here." Ward stalked out of the kitchen, leaving Skye alone.

Skye was still stuck on the fact that Ward admitted that he actually loved her. So those feelings he had towards her were real. And the fact that everything Hydra about him was gone only made those feelings the truth.

But she knew that she couldn't tell Ward what was going on. It was Coulson's rule. Don't tell the truth to Ward no matter what. Keep his past a secret to him. But Ward already knew that something was wrong and that they were all keeping something from him.

So it wouldn't be long until he found out the truth. And Skye didn't want to know how Ward would react to them once he found out what they had been keeping from him. She knew that he would once again turn his back on them, and for good this time.

She sighed and left the room, knowing that her attempt at an apology was a lost cause. Coulson had made her apologize, but Skye's heart was in it. She had regretted telling Ward off like that once she found out how he had reacted.

He didn't know why she had acted like that towards him. He didn't know what he had done to them. He just didn't know.

But she knew it wouldn't stay like that for long. And if Coulson was right about what he suspected about what happened….

* * *

(Earlier)

"Skye, you need to apologize to Ward." Coulson said, looking crossly at Skye. "I told you what he did once you left him. He doesn't know why you don't like him, so please try to not act like that towards him. You don't have to like him, but don't act that way."

Skye looked down at her feet, "Fine, Coulson." she muttered. She looked up, "I don't understand why we have to keep Hydra from him."

"You know why." Coulson stated. "If he figures out what he did and that comes back to him… There's a possibility that he might go back to his old ways and try to kill us again." He sighed, "I would like to keep this loyal Ward close. You know he's a good agent, and if he's on our side once again. It's better that he never knows."

"But what happens once he figures it out?" Skye asked. "You know you can't keep this hidden forever."

Coulson ran his hand through his hair, "I know that. But I would like to keep it this way for as long as I can. And we still don't know what Hydra used to erase his memories like that. They're so specific. It's almost like…." He trailed off, his face paling.

Skye frowned, "Like what?"

"TAHITI." Coulson replied. "Like how my memories were changed of my resurrection. Specific memories."

"You don't think that Hydra somehow got a hold of that technology, do you?" Skye asked.

Coulson shook his head, "I-I don't know. But this is bad, really bad. A lot of times TAHITI causes a person's brain to break down a lot of times."

Skye's face fell, "You used it on my father."

"But that was your father. Ward's mentally unstable anyways. I believe that your father will be fine, he's in a good environment. But Ward's not. Sometimes memories break through. Through delusions and hallucinations. It drives a person insane sometimes. I've seen it."

Skye gulped, "You don't think that that will happen to Ward, do you?" she asked.

"I don't know. But we have to keep eyes on Ward at all times. If he shows any signs of a mental breakdown, it's going to get bad. Skye, now I'm afraid of what's to come with him. An actually insane Ward suffering from delusions and hallucinations… He'll be dangerous…"

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Ward's wanting Skye to tell him what happened and admits something. And Coulson suspects what happened to Ward and knows it's going to turn dangerous. Not good. Not good. Like with my other fics, I don't know when I'll be able to update next. I have knee surgery in the morning and I probably won't feel like writing for a while. But I promise by the end of the week. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	7. Chapter 7 (The Knife Is Turning Now)

**Chapter Seven (The Knife is Turning Now)**

(Two Days Later)

Ward walked down the hall towards the kitchen once again, clutching his head as another headache gripped it. He seemed to have a headache at every waking moment, ones that made him nauseated and disoriented. It even made spots dance on the edge of his vision, but he tried to ignore them.

And he hadn't told anyone about these headaches. They had been going on since his episode the other day, something else he hadn't told anyone else about. He lumbered into the kitchen, hoping that drinking some water would help.

Ward reached the fridge and about fell over when a wave of vertigo hit him like a ton of bricks. He grabbed onto the handles of the massive fridge to hold himself up as his world began to spin.

"What… The hell?" he slurred as he struggled to keep himself up. He fell to the ground with a thud as his hands slipped off of the fridge's handles. As he fell, white-hot pain lanced through his right side. But he couldn't scream out.

His disoriented eyes drifted down to his side, widening as he saw bright red blood staining his white shirt on his side. Shot? He had been shot? But how? He had heard nothing.

The room continued to spin as the pain in Ward's side continued to grow and grow. He heard muffled talking from outside of the kitchen. It sounded like Skye, Fitz, and Hunter to him. Hell, he really didn't know. His eyes were trained on no point in particular as the three agents came in and stopped in fear at the sight of the fallen Ward.

"Ward!" Skye exclaimed, seeing Ward slumped against the fridge, sweat glistening on his paling face. His eyes were also widened in pain and he was breathing heavily.

"Is he hurt?" Hunter asked.

"I think he fell." Fitz added, worry in his voice.

Skye's face took on a worried look as she approached Ward, "Ward, are you okay?"

Ward continued to be silent, but his eyes shrunk in fear as Skye's shape distorted and when she became clear again, there was a gun pointed towards him. He held his arms up the best he could, "D-Don't shoot me…" he stammered. "Already… Blood…"

Skye's face fell, "Why would we? Wait, _blood_?" she asked, looking around the kitchen. "There's no blood, Ward."

But Ward didn't hear any of this, he was trapped in some other world. He watched in fear and in pain as Skye approached him closer, the gun pointed at his head and a slight smile on her face, "Never turn your back on the enemy. You told me that." she said. "This is what you get for being Hydra scum, asshole."

Ward froze as he heard a gunshot and screamed, but heard something else.

"Grant! Snap out of it!"

He blinked, the vision of the gun-wielding Skye vanishing into thin air. He realized that Skye was shaking him. "S-Skye?" he stammered. Shaking his head, Ward bolted to his feet only to stumble again. But Skye supported him.

Skye looked him in the eyes, his wild and weak-looking eyes, holding onto his shoulders, "Grant, are you okay?" she asked calmly. "I sent Fitz and Hunter to go get Coulson, Simmons, and med agents."

Ward's wild eyes frisked Skye. His body was shaking and it still felt to him as though the world was spinning. "The blood." he said. "You're not covered by the blood."

Skye's face paled, "What blood?" she asked. She looked him up and down, "Ward, there's no blood on you. We found you lying on the floor. You started screaming about not shooting you and blood." She lowered her voice, "Are you sure that you're okay?"

Ward pushed Skye away from him, "Skye, I'm fine. Now leave me alone like I told you." he growled weakly. He went to turn around, but his vision distorted again and he fell to the ground, everything going black.

Skye's eyes widened and she quickly crouched down to Ward's side. "Ward! Grant!" she exclaimed, shaking him She felt for a pulse and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt his rapid pulse. He had only passed out.

She looked him over, knowing that Ward was losing his mind. Just like Coulson had said. But it was worse though, 'cause it was affecting him physically as well. She gulped, "Help! Grant passed out!" she screamed. "Hurry the hell up!"

* * *

(Later)

Coulson took a breath and looked to Simmons for an answer to what was wrong with Ward. Skye and May stood by him and Fitz stood by Simmons. The others were elsewhere for the time being.

"Simmons, what's wrong with him?" he asked.

Simmons shrugged, "I really don't know, sir." she replied. "Everything points to that he simply passed out from exhaustion, like he hasn't slept for the past few days. But what Skye, Hunter, and Fitz said about him screaming…" She trailed off, looking to the unconscious Ward that laid in the bed on the opposite side of the glass.

"That sounds like a hallucination. Something about Skye shooting him." she continued. Simmons looked to Skye, "What did he do after Fitz and Hunter left him?"

"He snapped out of it, kind of." Skye explained. "He claimed that he was okay, but after he asked about 'the blood'. Like he had been hurt or something. But he wasn't. He turned to leave and collapsed. I don't know what it was." She gulped, "If he was hallucinating, then I think it was about the time I shot him. I'm not convinced otherwise. Memories are returning."

"Dammit." Coulson spat, running his hand through his hair. "It's worse than I thought."

Fitz raised an eyebrow and looked towards the Director, "What did you originally think, sir?" he asked.

"I've only told Skye this, 'cause I wanted to make sure. But this confirms it. Even though it's worse than I thought. Skye and I believe that Hydra has gotten their hands on TAHITI technology somehow." Coulson explained.

May looked to Coulson, her face fallen, "Phil, this is serious. Why didn't you tell us?" she asked.

"Only because I wanted to make sure." Coulson repeated. "But it's sure this time."

"TAHITI?" Simmons questioned. "As in that thing that erases memories?"

Coulson nodded, "Specific memories. It's possible that Hydra got a hold of a machine and used it to erase Ward's memories of Hydra. And then they threw him back at us. But it's backfiring.

TAHITI was never stable. There were a lot of ,uh , well, subjects that went insane from violent hallucinations and delusions spawning from the memories trying to break through the ice." Coulson continued. "It's highly likely that Ward's going through this and it's even affecting him physically as well. So this is a dire situation that needs to be fixed now. Before he goes completely insane. Or remembers what he needs to for him to turn against us again."

Fitz frowned, looking to the unconscious Ward along with everyone else. A heavy feeling of fear settled into his stomach. He looked back to Coulson, "Uh, and how do you do that?" he asked.

Coulson's face fell, paling in color, "I have no damn idea."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Ward's 'condition' is taking a turn for the worse as some of the more violent memories are starting to rise to the surface in hallucinations. And they're affecting him physically in a way. Kind of like a somatoform disorder, since there's no physical cause of the pain. Can the team help him before it's too late? Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	8. Chapter 8 (Stare Into the Blackness)

Chapter Eight (Stare Into the Blackness)

(Unknown)

Ward turned around, finding himself in a large, empty, white room. His face fell, trying to figure out how he got there. "What the hell?" he muttered. "What is this? I thought, I thought I was in the base."

He started to walk towards the other side of the room, but found that he could never reach it. It was never ending. Just a big, empty void, desolate of anything or anyone.

Ward started to become frantic now, not knowing what was going on. Last thing he remembered was being in the kitchen of the base. He saw Skye, and then nothing. It was like everything went black. And now he was here, with no idea where 'here' was. It was like it was nowhere.

"Hello?!" he called out, stopping. "Is there anyone here?!"

"It's been a long time, Grant." a voice laughed out.

Ward frowned and turned around, seeing a tall man walking towards him. The man had short, brown hair and wore black clothing, which strangely included a turtleneck. And his face wore a creepy smile, and he seemed to walk with an arrogant air around him. Ward had no clue who this guy was, so he didn't say anything in response.

The man stopped a few feet in front of Ward and dug his hand into his pockets, raising an eyebrow, "No response?" he asked. He looked at Ward's appearance, "And since when was your hair spiky? And I wouldn't think that you would let your beard grow out."

Ward blinked, "I'm sorry?" he asked. "But I don't know who the hell you are. I don't even know where I am."

The man's eyes widened in surprise, "You don't know who I am, _son_?" he asked, taking his hand out of his pockets and slowly approaching Ward.

He didn't know why, but Ward somehow knew that this guy was bad news and that he should keep away. "No, I don't." he firmly stated. "I don't recall ever seeing you at all."

The man scoffed, "How the hell do you forget someone like me?" he growled slightly. "I'm the one that pulled you out of your childhood hell, got you out of juvie."

Ward frowned, "No, you didn't. SHIELD did. They recruited me and got me out of jail. You did nothing for me."

The man narrowed his eyes, continuing to approach Ward. "Stop that nonsense, boy. You know who I am. Do I have to remind you?" he asked. Ward figured that he didn't want to know what that meant.

"Please, I don't know who you are." Ward repeated. "Now get the hell away from me."

"How can I do that when we're in your own head, son?" the man asked. "This is all you. You do know who I am. You've just got to think about it."

Ward's stomach twisted. His head? What the hell was going on? He looked the man over once more and a name came to mind. A name that made him sick to his stomach. Garrett.

Ward's face fell and he looked Garrett in the eyes, "Garrett." he said quietly. "Your name is Garrett."

Garrett smiled, "That's right, Grant. I am Garrett." He came up to Ward and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch. "What did SHIELD do to you to mess you up that much?" he asked. "Is it payback for Hydra?"

"What about Hydra?"

Garrett almost laughed, "You know. You couldn't have forgotten everything. SHIELD hates you because you're the 'big, bad, evil Hydra double agent'. Remember?"

A muscle twitched in Ward's face, "No, I don't. I'm not Hydra."

Garrett scoffed , "Yes, you are."

Ward shoved Garrett's hand off of him, "I'm not Hydra! I'm SHIELD for God's sakes!" he screamed, immediately regretting what he did.

Garrett snarled and backhanded Ward across the face so hard, that he fell to the ground. "You will never raise your voice like that towards me again. Do you hear me?" he hissed. "And wake up and smell the damn truth, son. You are Hydra, and don't you ever forget it. You're not one of those SHIELD cowards."

Ward held his stinging cheek as he came to his feet. His stomach churning up a storm, "I-I… I would never do such a thing!" he exclaimed. "That isn't me!"

Garrett's lips curled into an evil smile, "Oh, yes it is." He swung his fist into Ward's stomach, causing him to double over and fall down again. "You are the traitor. The monster in the basement. Hell, you're the damned Devil."

The last thing Ward remembered was Garrett's foot swinging into his stomach before everything went black. And only one thing rang out.

 _'Traitor.'_

* * *

(Back in Reality)

Ward awoke with a jolt, the contents of his nightmare quickly fading. He was covered in a cold sweat and was breathing heavily. A concerned voice quickly broke through to him.

"Grant?"

Ward blinked and looked to see Skye standing at the foot of his bed, a worried look on her face. "Skye?" he asked. "What? Where the hell am I?"

"The med bay of the base." she replied. "We… We found you passed out in the kitchen. Simmons says from dehydration. You're hooked up to an IV now to help with that."

"What are you doing in here? I thought that you hated me?"

Skye sighed and shook her head, "No, I realized that I don't. That's in the past now and I'm trying to forget that." she stated.

Ward took a sharp breath, several words ringing out in his head. 'Garrett. Traitor. Hydra. Not SHIELD.' He didn't know what these meant, and he tried to ignore them. But he couldn't. "Skye, who's Garrett?" he asked.

Skye's face fell and paled in color, "Uh, why?" she questioned.

Ward shrugged, "I don't know. That name popped in my head and I can't figure out why."

Skye shook her head, "Uh, he's no one. Someone we dealt with long ago. That's in the past."

Ward clenched his fists and looked Skye firmly in the eyes, "Skye, is there something that you're not telling me?" he asked. "'Cause I know that there's something wrong with me. I've been hearing and seeing things that aren't there. I've had really strange dreams lately."

"Seeing what?"

"Me getting shot by you of all people. Hearing Fitzsimmons screaming out for help. Some girl dying in my arms. Agent Morse getting tortured. I can't explain these things, Skye. But I know they have something do with what you're keeping from me." Ward explained.

Skye's stomach turned to slush, "Grant, I… I'm not the one you need to talk to about this."

Ward's face twitched in anger, "Skye, you're the one that I trust the most to talk to about things like this." he said, trying to keep his voice down. "I know that there's something wrong with me and you're keeping the truth from me."

"Grant, I'm not…"

"Spit it out, Skye." Ward growled. "What's wrong with me? And what are you keeping from me?" He took a gulp, remembering a brief thing from his dream earlier. "And what do I have to do with Hydra?"

Skye's stomach fell. Oh no, it was what Coulson had been fearing all along. Ward was figuring out the truth. "Uh, what?"

"You heard me. What do I have to do with Hydra? And why does the word 'traitor' keep coming to mind?"

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. Uh oh, so Ward's figured something out after a vivid dream involving Garrett. That's not good, at all. Is this the beginnings of Ward's spiral back down into hell, or can he be pulled out just in time? Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	9. Chapter 9 (But Now I Want Three)

**Chapter Nine (But Now I Want Three)**

Skye shook her head as her face paled, "You have nothing to do with Hydra, Grant." she said. "You just had a bad dream or something and it's messing with you. I promise that you have nothing to do with Hydra." But of course she was wrong. And she was afraid that Ward would catch the huge lie.

Ward's eyes narrowed, "No, you're lying." he said coldly. "I can hear it in your voice. You know that I'm a top-class _spy_ right?" he asked. "I can tell when someone is lying, and that's what you are doing."

"No,"

"Yes you are!" Ward exclaimed, anger building in his chest. "You have been doing so ever since I got out of that damn cell! And no one's told me the reason to why I was in there yet!" He lowered his voice, "If you really do care for me, then tell me what the hell I did wrong that's so bad. And why is it so bad that you're keeping it from me? Skye, I know I've forgotten a lot, I know that there's something missing. But you've got to tell me what it is."

"I don't think that I'm at liberty to say that." Skye stated, shaking from anxiety. "Coulson specifically told us not to tell you yet, until we can find a way to do so." she explained.

Ward snapped. "But you can tell me that crap!" he hissed. "Look, I know that Hydra did something to me! I've already figured out that they've erased memories of _something_!"

Skye stepped back a bit, trying to figure out what to say. "Yes, they did." she replied. "We're still trying to figure that out."

"But what, though?" Ward asked angrily. "I asked you about having to do with Hydra, and you acted so strange about it. The way you denied it makes me think that I _do_ have something to do with Hydra."

Skye shook her head again, "You," she began, but Ward cut her off.

"Stop with that crap, _Skye."_ he hissed. "Just say the truth." His face softened and he looked her in the eyes, "Please."

Skye felt as though there was lead in her stomach. "Yes." was all she managed to spit out. "You did."

Ward's face completely paled and then twisted up, "WHAT?!" he screeched. "I was a dammed _Hydra_ agent and you kept that from me?! I thought that I was SHIELD?! What the hell is the truth, Skye?!"

Skye gulped down the bile that was rising in her throat, "I-I…" she stammered. She spun around and quickly left the room, leaving Ward in absolute anger.

"Freaking figures." Ward spat. But it felt as though everything was crashing down all around him. Hydra? He had been Hydra? But why? That didn't seem like him. What was missing from his memory that kept the real truth from him? He had to find out.

His eyes drifted to the IV in his hand that was restricting him to the bed. A muscle twitched in his face and he pulled the needle out, ignoring the stinging pain and the blood that was blossoming on his skin.

He hopped out of the bed and luckily found that he was still in his clothes. So he had only been put of the IV. He swayed a bit on his feet, but found his footing and ran out of the room.

"If no one's going to tell me the damn truth," he muttered to himself as he raced down the hall. "I'm going to find it out myself."

* * *

(Coulson's office)

Coulson stood quickly to his feet as Skye burst into his office, a frantic, wild look on her face. His face fell and he adjusted his sling, "Skye, what's wrong?" he asked. "Is it Ward?"

She nodded heavily, "Yes. He's figured it out."

Coulson's heart skipped a beat, "Figured _what_ out exactly?" he asked, hoping that Skye didn't mean what he thought she meant.

"That he was Hydra." Skye quickly replied. "He asked so many questions and was so angry at me, I had to say yes when he asked if he was Hydra or not."

Coulson's eyes widened, "You told him that he was Hydra?!" he exclaimed. "Do you know what that could do to him?!"

"I had no choice!" Skye yelled. "I'm assuming he's figuring it out by his hallucinations or something. I think he must've had a dream when he was unconscious. He asked about Garrett when he woke." She started to tear up, "I had no choice. I-I don't know what he's going to do now."

Coulson frowned as the ground started to quiver slightly, "Skye, first of all, calm down. I'm not blaming you. I knew that something like this would happen eventually. That he would figure things out."

Skye shook her head, "He doesn't know the reasoning behind it, though. All he knows is that he was Hydra. None of the betrayal stuff. Not trying to kill us. Just that he was Hydra. I don't want to know what he will do when he finds out those things." she said. "If he's really going to go insane, then this is the final nail in the coffin."

Coulson took a breath before continuing. "There's no telling how the memories will come back once he finds out the actual truth." he said. "If he's already suffering from violent hallucinations, it's only going to get worse. Please tell me that he's still in the medical bay."

Skye shrugged, "I-I don't know." she stammered. "I rushed out after he confronted me. I couldn't handle staying in there anymore."

Coulson ran his one, good hand through his hair, "Go in there and make sure that he stays in there. I don't need him trying to figure out on his own what he's done, 'cause I don't know what that will do to him. I'll alert the others that he's really starting to figure things out." He took a sharp breath, "I thought that I was going to have Ward back with us once again. A loyal Ward willing to do anything for the sake of SHIELD. But it looks as though we're not going to get that anymore. We may be getting a truly insane Ward on our hands."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. Sorry for the short chapter, but I didn't know what to write. So Ward's figured out that he was Hydra and Coulson deems this as bad. Can they stop him before he figures out the truth? Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	10. Chapter 10 (All You Used to Be)

**Chapter Ten (All You Used to Be)**

Ward ran his way into a server room at the base, lucky that he was able to find it. He didn't know around this base and his mind was a swarm of screams and dragging-down thoughts. He looked around the machine-filled room, his eyes resting on a computer in a corner, just right where he couldn't be seen with ease. If they didn't want him finding out, they wouldn't know that he did.

He walked over and settled down into the computer, starting to click his way through the database. To his dismay, a lot of the files were locked, requiring a higher-level access code than he had. Apparently, they were for Coulson's eyes only. But they weren't agent files, he wasn't sure what they were.

He navigated around some more, remembering his way around from a time where he had to look up the files of an agent that had gone rouge for a mission. A screen popped up, _"Please enter name and/or ID # of intended agent."_ Ward frowned and typed in his own name.

His file's main screen popped up with his name at the top. One word next to it jerked at his stomach. _"No longer Employed."_ He gulped and his eyes drifted down to the status line and it felt as though his world crashed down around him.

 _"_ _Wanted traitor of SHIELD. Double agent of Hydra. More details…"_

He started to shake his head, "No… No, no, no… This can't be… I was never Hydra." he muttered, pretty much pleading with himself. His hand started to shake as he went to scroll deeper into the files.

And then all of the bloody truth hit him like a train, all there on the screen.

 _"_ _Hydra agent embedded in SHIELD alongside ex-agent John Garrett… Killed Agents Eric Koenig and Victoria Hand… Ejected Agents Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons out of SHIELD Globemaster into ocean, causing brain damage to Agent Fitz... Imprisoned for several months, giving us viable information… Escaped FBI custody en route to brother… Kidnapped Agent Skye to San Juan…_

 _Assumed dead by Agent Skye's hand… Teamed up with brainwashed Agent 33 (Kara Palamas)… Eventually forced teamed up with us for brief mission… Kidnapped and tortured Agent Barbara Morse… Presumed dead once again until found on Hydra property with amnesia…"_

And Ward stopped there, unable to go any further. No… He couldn't have done any of this. This wasn't him. But it was there, in computerized form. There was no way that any of it could be a lie. But why, why did the team keep it from him?

 _"_ _Don't you see, son? You're the monster that they think you are. Just because you don't remember it doesn't make it a lie."_

Ward's stomach fell and he turned to face the man he only remembered from his dreams. "Garrett?"

The illusion smiled, _"Great to know that you remember my name , son."_ He pointed to the computer screen, _"But that is your legacy, something that you cannot erase. They'll always treat you like crap, because you are crap. You don't have to thank me. Enjoy your hell."_

The illusion of Garrett shimmered and faded away, leaving Ward sitting there in complete and utter shock. No, no. None of this could be true. He went to stand up, but a sudden, intense pain shot through his mind causing him to fall to the ground.

Bright, vivid images of everything described in that files started to swarm and assault his mind. Killing Hand and Koenig. The Vault. Killing his family, and that wasn't even mentioned in the file. Kara. Torturing Agent Morse. Every little bit of it.

And it was too much for his mind and his body. He started to seize up and the memories kept coming and coming. This is why it had been kept from him, to save him from this hell, from this pain. Why was it so painful?

The hallucinations… These locked-away memories were the reason why he swore he was going insane. He body continued shaking as he tried to crawl his way across the cold, concrete floor. But he couldn't go, he stopped in the middle of the room, curled up to block the pain.

"Make it stop!" he screeched. "Please make it end! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

* * *

(Elsewhere)

Skye came to a screeching halt just down the hallway from the server room, hearing what seemed to be Ward's pain-filled screams echoed out of it.

 _"_ _Make it stop! Please make it end! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"_

Her stomach iced over and she didn't hesitate to run that way to find out what the hell was going on. She ran full speed, pretty much sliding into the server room. She about screamed when she saw it.

Ward was laying in the floor, curled up and his entire body shaking pretty violently. Her eyes drifted to the lit up computer across the room, seeing a file on the screen.

She shook her head and ran over to his side, "Please tell me you didn't do it." she pleaded. "But of course you did, you're so freaking stubborn."

She tried to lift him up to lean him up against the table behind him. But he was too heavy for her to do so. "Grant, please, snap out of it." she pleaded. "Please tell me you didn't."

"I'm sorry. Sorry." he muttered over and over. "Please… Please forgive me… Didn't mean it. Didn't mean it. Not the bad guy. Not the bad guy." And Ward kept rambling on and on.

Something in his brain must've triggered when he read his file, causing this hell. Skye looked down at him, unsure of what to do."

"What the bloody hell is going on?!"

Skye looked to see Hunter and Fitz standing in the doorway, looking on in horror at Ward's shivering body.

"Fitz, go get Coulson and bring him straight back here, now." Skye ordered. "Ward… I think he found out. And it's doing something to him."

Fitz nodded briskly and ran out the room, just as Hunter came in.

"Do I need to do something?" he asked. "You know I particularly don't like the man, but we can't leave him here like this."

"Help me sit him up against the table." Skye replied, pointing at the table. "I don't think this is a seizure, so we can move him. He's able to talk, a person having a seizure wouldn't be able to. It's something psychological."

Hunter gulped and nodded, coming to Ward's side. He took the man's left side as Skye took his right. They lifted him up and propped him up against the metal table. They stared at him, unsure of what to do next as Ward continued to shake and mutter, his eyes darting around the room.

"So what do we do next?" Hunter whispered.

Skye gulped and sat next to Ward, taking his hand, "Wait here until Coulson gets here. He might know of something to do. But I don't know what there is to do." she replied.

Hunter nodded, but didn't say anything in response.

Skye's stomach still churned as she looked at Ward, "Grant, I don't know what's going on, but please snap out of it. Please."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So Ward finds out the truth and it all goes south from there. But Skye's there to help, so it should be okay, right? Let's hope so. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	11. Chapter 11 (Forced to Breathe Again)

**Chapter Eleven (Forced to Breathe Again)**

(Elsewhere)

Ward spun around, finding himself in a large, open expanse of nothing. Absolutely nothing. A vile smell wafted through the air, making Ward wrinkle his nose. It almost smelled like… Blood…

His stomach lurched and he looked down to see the smell coming from his own hands. Wet, sticky, dark-red blood stained his skin. Bile started to rise in his throat as his eyes widened at the sight. Where had the blood come from? Even more, _who's_ blood was it?

"What's going on?" he muttered, becoming dizzy and sick. His eyes darted around, scanning the open expanse for any sign of someone else. But it seemed that he was all alone. "Is anybody out there?!" he screamed. "Someone help me!"

"No one's going to help your pathetic ass, son."

Ward's stomach froze as the laugh drifted in. He spun around to see a man that kept appearing to him, even though he swore that he was dead. "Garrett." he muttered. "What the hell is going on? Where is this blood from?"

Garrett smiled, "Well from all of the people that you have killed. Not just for SHIELD, but for me and Hydra as well." he cooed. "Hand. Koenig. They were worthless anyways."

Ward screamed as vivid images raced through his mind. Images of death. Images of betrayal. Killing Hand and Koenig. Kidnapping Skye. Ejecting Fitzsimmons out of the plane. The Vault. San Juan. Getting shot by Skye. Kara. Torturing Agent Morse. Kara's death. His vow of revenge. All of it. All of it came back.

He fell to his knees, shaking his head over and over. "There's no way that I did any of that! I'm not Hydra! But… I remember doing so… Why was it gone? Why was it kept from me?" he asked, not looking up at Garrett, which he now remembered was the cause of it all. He remembered all the way back to juvie.

Garrett sneered, "Hydra didn't want you snooping around in their business anymore, so they wiped you and dumped you with SHIELD thinking that would be the worse punishment. But SHIELD thought that they could take advantage of that and try to turn you into a loyal agent by keeping the secret from you. But it wasn't ever going to work.

Memories were going to come back. In ways that would prove their ruin. TAHITI doesn't keep memories locked away a lot of times, and it drives people mad when they come back. Mostly because it's conflicting with what a person thinks they remember.

You think you're some goody-two-shoes SHIELD agent who follows Coulson's every order, but that's not the truth. You're Hydra, you listen to me. You're the wolf in the herd. The backstabbing traitor, the one everyone hates. That's why they all acted so… _Vile_ towards you. They don't like you, son. Wake up and go back to whatever the hell you were doing before Hydra got you."

Ward shook his head again, "No… Skye… I really think she did care. For a while she didn't and it makes sense now, but that changed. She doesn't hate me!"

Garrett shot forward and kicked Ward's stomach, causing him to dry-heave, "Wake up son! SHIELD isn't your life!" he exclaimed.

Ward dodged another kick and bolted to his feet, "Maybe your right. At one time it wasn't. But I don't want to be Hydra anymore. I'm not loyal to you. And besides, you're dead and rotting in hell. I was proving that I am as much as a SHIELD agent as anyone on the team. Even though I didn't know the truth. But now, that I do… I don't want to go back to that hell." he explained.

Garrett snarled, "What the hell was that?" he hissed.

"I'm calling it now. I'm not Hydra, I'm not yours. I'm SHIELD. And if anybody asks me, that's what I'll tell them. I know that I can't make up for it, but I can at least try."

"Have fun doing that while you're busy losing your mind as a side-effect of the TAHITI procedure that Hydra did to you. You thought that Coulson had a bad enough time, you're a whole other story." Garrett sneered again.

Ward's face fell, "Wait, what?" he asked.

"You're inside your head right now, so you don't know what's really going on. In real life you're going insane from the conflicting memories. This damn chat means squat out there. I wouldn't be surprised if they have you in a bed restrained." Garrett went on, glaring at Ward.

"Restrained?"

"You know, to avoid hurting anyone." Garrett laughed. "You're going to end up killing someone dear to you in a fit of insanity, and I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being Skye."

Ward's eyes widened and suddenly went dark. And then he could hear the screams. His screams.

* * *

(In Reality)

Ward woke up screaming, his mind a blurry, painful mess of conflicting memories driving him insane. He pulled at the restraints holding his arms and legs to the bed. "Let me go! Let me go!" he screeched.

Skye ran into the room, Fitz and Hunter following her. She came over and held Ward down by his biceps. "Grant, please calm down. You're having a panic attack or something." she pleaded softly.

"That's not a bloody panic attack!" Hunter exclaimed. "Coulson was right! He's going crazy!"

Skye ignored him and looked firmly in Ward's wild, glazed-over eyes that kept darting around the room as he struggled to break free. She gripped his arms a little harder, "Grant!"

He snarled at her, "Get the hell off of me!" he screeched. "Your fault! Your fault!"

"It's no one's fault but Hydra!" Skye exclaimed, not letting go of him. "They did this to you!"

"Kept it from me!" Ward yelled, twisting his left hand out of the restraint. His other hand had an IV in it. "Wanted me to die!" His hand shot up grabbed Skye forcefully by the throat. He pulled her close, his wild eyes locked onto hers.

"Grant, please… I can't… Breathe…" Skye choked out, the ground rumbling beneath them.

"Fitz, go get somebody! It doesn't matter who the hell it is!" Hunter yelled, running towards the two.

"Y-Yes!" Fitz yelled, high-tailing it out of the room.

Hunter grabbed onto Ward's arm and pulled it from Skye's neck, and Skye fell to the ground coughing. Ward swung his fist into Hunter's eye. The agent screamed out, jumping back.

Skye scampered back on the floor as Ward continued to thrash wildly in the bed, trying to get out. And Skye knew that he would probably end up killing someone with the way he was now.

"Let me out! Let me out!" Ward continued to screech.

"What the hell?!"

Skye looked to see Simmons running into the room, Fitz right behind her. "Jemma! Do something!"

Simmons ran to a table, picking up a syringe that she had prepared just for this exact thing. She rushed over to Ward's IV as Hunter held back his free arm. The Biochemist injected the liquid and Ward immediately began to calm down as it entered his bloodstream. In a matter of seconds, he was out.

"Now, what happened?" Simmons asked, looking at Hunter and Skye. "And you're going to have to get that eye checked out." she continued, noting Hunter's already-swelling eye.

"He woke up screaming, Skye tried to calm him down, and he broke out of the restraints and tried to strangle Skye." Hunter exclaimed, still holding onto his eye. "The bloke's freaking crazy. Coulson was right."

Simmons shook her head, looking to Ward's now-sleeping form, "Coulson was afraid that it was going to get bad. He might have to be imprisoned for our and his own safety until this passes. If this passes." she explained.

Skye came to her feet, "I didn't think that TAHITI would have such a bad effect, it didn't do that to Coulson. Grant's gone insane."

"There's two sets of memories in his head. The real ones and the fake ones, and they're both fighting to be the main set of memories. And it's driving him mad." Simmons went on.

Skye looked and watched Ward sleeping, almost like he hadn't freaked out earlier, "I hope this can be cleared up. I was just really starting to like him again, and I don't want to lose him."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So... Yeah... The two sets of memories are really driving Ward way past the team probably only has a short amount of time to bring him back from the brink. The only question is _if_ they can. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	12. Chapter 12 (What's Inside My Head?)

**Chapter Twelve (What's Inside My Head?)**

(A Few Hours Later)

Ward sat blankly in the infirmary bed, mind fuzzy from both the sedation meds in his system and the confusion from the two sets of memories fighting each other. He stared at the wall ahead of him, muttering nonsense things over and over to himself.

"Not me. Not me. No way that was me. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Too much. Too much."

He kept shaking his head slightly, as if he was arguing with someone else in the room. These mutters kept going on and on, as though someone else could hear them. But it was just Ward in the room. Everyone else was afraid to come near him since his outburst from earlier. But he didn't remember what happened. His mind was quickly going, and soon he would be completely and utterly mental.

A laugh from nowhere echoed out in the room. And Ward's crazed gaze darted over to a form coming together in the corner of the room. But he stayed silent as he watched the demon of his mind come striding towards him.

"See, son?" it asked. "SHIELD's at fault for all of this."

Ward's head slowly shook, "No… Not them…" he mumbled. "SHIELD… No… Garrett…"

Garrett sneered at the broken and delusional man, "You're not making any damn sense, boy. SHIELD did this to you. They didn't tell you the truth in time and it drove you insane. They wanted to keep you as the perfect SHIELD agent you thought you were…" He scoffed, "And that's the one thing you never were. You were always with me, and you let that drive you to your grave.

I didn't expect Hydra to wipe you and throw you back upon the steps of hell, but they did. And even when you swore that you were Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes, SHIELD still treated you like dirt."

Again, Ward blankly shook his head, "No…" he began, but ended up trailing off as his deluded mind made sense of a few things. "Skye hates me…" he muttered. "Is that why?"

The illusion of Garrett smiled, glad that Ward was figuring things out, "Yes, son, that's why. She hates your guts because you're the big bad wolf, per se. Hell, she even shot your ass four times and left you for dead. She hates you, Grant. They all do. Wake up and see the truth that lies right in front of you."

Ward continued to stare at Garrett with his crazed eyes, "I'm not… I didn't…"

"Oh, but you did." Garrett cut in. "They used you. They took advantage of your temporary weakness and they used you. Thought that they could turn you into a loyal soldier. And look where that got you.

Coulson withheld the truth from you, son. And now it's driving you mad. And I can't help you there. Hell, no one can." he sneered. "I guess this is what you get for being a sorry piece of trash all your life. And I don't give two damns whether you live or not. Enjoy losing your mind, _boy._ "

Ward blinked as the illusion of his demon faded away, only his laugh remaining until it drifted out. His head cocked slightly, as he was trying to make since of Garrett's tirade. Everything still told him two different things though.

In one reality, Garrett never existed and Ward never fell victim to him. But in the other, Garrett was Ward's demon who would always remain in the back of his mind. And unfortunately, the latter was the cold, hard truth.

And that cold, hard truth involved Hydra, his betrayal, Fitzsimmons, Kara, and all of the hell that had happened to him. Still, Ward didn't know what reality was the real one, and that's what was slowly driving him to the edge.

Ever since his mental outburst from a few hours ago, he had been both hearing and seeing things. He still heard Fitzsimmons' cries ringing out in his ears. He saw Skye lurking around him, pointing a gun towards him. And he saw Kara's blood drying on his hands and she lay dead on the floor below him. The two realities were his breaking point.

And there was a possibility that what had happened to him couldn't be reversed. The team was now in a dire situation of trying to save him, and they didn't know how.

* * *

(Outside)

Coulson sighed, shaking his head and he and Skye looked at Ward through the room's window. They watched as he stared at a corner of the room, shaking his head over and over. And it seemed as though he was talking to somebody, which was actually no one but himself.

"Skye, I'm afraid he's probably too far gone." he stated solemnly. "I don't think he can come back from this state."

Skye bit her lip and looked down, not wanting Coulson to see the slight tears in her eyes, "Could've this been avoided?" she asked.

The Director shrugged, "I don't know. The memories aren't supposed to come back, but they did. Just like me, and that drove me mad for a while. But Ward… He's way worse. He's got a lot being thrown at him. I don't know exactly how Hydra got TAHITI or what they were planning, but it was to hurt us… Hell, it's doing something."

"What if we had actually told him the truth, and he didn't have to find it out the hard way?" Skye suggested. "Would've that kept him from ending up like that?" She pointed at Ward, who continued to stare blankly at the wall, muttering to himself with crazed eyes.

Shaking his head, Coulson took a breath, "I'm not sure. It still could've done something to him. Maybe not _this_ bad. But you heard Simmons explain what was going on, Skye. There's two sets of memories, two realities, basically fighting each other inside of the man's head. Both are trying to be the dominant memory, one where he's the Hydra traitor and one where he's the perfect SHIELD agent he thinks he is.

That's driving him insane. Once Hydra erased those memories and created the man we found… Those memories weren't supposed to come back." Coulson continued. "They're meant to stay locked away forever. Like with your father. He's supposed to think that's he's a vet in a small clinic and he's not supposed to remember the insane monster he was. Wards supposed to think he's a perfect SHIELD agent to avoid what's going on now."

"We're the ones that drove him to this, aren't we?" Skye asked sadly.

"Probably. We couldn't help the way we acted towards him. Things can't change that easily. That drove him to find out the truth of what really happened." Coulson looked to the delusional Ward, "And he ended up like this. I knew it would happen. And there was nothing to stop it."

Skye gulped, watching as Ward continued to talk to nothing, "So he can't be brought back? He can't be made sane again?"

Coulson shook his head, "Probably not. Maybe if we can slowly convince him of the truth, then maybe the false memories could be driven away and he'll start to slowly come back. Maybe." He sighed, "But I'm not sure. He may be like this for a long time, Skye."

Skye looked down to the floor and then back through the window towards Ward. His hair was disheveled and his beard was thick. And his eyes shone with impending insanity, if he wasn't already there. Her stomach churned at the thought of how she treated him, even as he didn't have a single clue to why. And that her attitude helped drive him to his current state.

And it was possible that he wouldn't come back.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. Sorry for the wait, but I didn't know what to write for a long time. But I'm back though! So, Ward's clearly loosing it and it seems that he can't come back from his crazed state. But it seems as though Coulson does have some kind of idea there at the end to bring him back. Let's hope that it works. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 52 or so?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	13. Chapter 13 (Louder Than Words)

**Chapter Thirteen (Louder Than Words)**

(A Few Hours Later)

Skye took a breath, looking at Coulson, May, and Fitzsimmons. The others were trying not to be involved with the Ward situation. "I'm gonna try to explain it all to him somehow." she announce. "Slowly and carefully. He'll probably take it best from me."

"And how is that supposed to work?" Fitz questioned. "He's on the edge of insanity if he isn't already there. How are you going to convince him of the actual truth without him attacking you or even trying to kill you?"

"I… I… I don't know." Skye admitted. "I don't know. I know he's far from being in his right mind at the moment, but something needs to be done. We can't let him slip further than he already is. If Ward can be convinced of what's real, then maybe he can be brought back." She looked over to Simmons for a confirmation, "Right, Jemma?"

Simmons nodded, "It's possible. If the false set can be determined by his mind as false, then what's real will finally come back to him." she explained. "But there's no telling to what he'll be like if he finally remembers everything. He may be hostile towards us, or his behavior may be like how it was when we found him at that base." She shook her head and redirected her sight to Coulson, "Sir, I know that you want that loyal agent that Ward thought he was, but I honestly don't think that it's going to happen.

He may blame us for everything that has happened. And in a way, it is our fault. We should've found a way to tell him before he found out the truth the hard way. That's why his mental state is so messed up right now."

Coulson sighed and shifted uncomfortably, "I didn't know that it would affect him this way, Simmons. None of us did. I was hoping to keep a loyal agent by trying to keep the truth from him. And it looks like telling him the truth was probably way better than what's going on now.

Skye, you better have a good plan for all of this. Going in blindly may get you killed. We don't want to use restraints because that could possibly make him worse. I know that he still has feelings for you, but at the moment they're very, very warped. He may hallucinate that you're trying to kill him. Hell, we already know that he's been hallucinating you shooting him, we've heard the screams, Skye." he continued, looking at the young agent. "Just tell me that you know what you are doing."

"Honestly, I don't. I don't know what's going to happen when I go in there. I'm just hoping that he's not going to lunge at me and try to tear out my throat or something of the like." Skye replied.

"That's not a good answer." May commented. "We don't need to lose you to his deranged insanity. Someone needs to be in there with you."

Skye shook her head, "I want to come as a friend, not like we're going to kill him at any second."

"He'll do the same."

"No, I'm going in alone, May." Skye shot back. "You can stay nearby or something, but I need to be by myself. I'm probably the only one he even remotely trusts right now, even if he trusts anyone right now. I don't know his thoughts, so there's no telling."

Coulson nodded grimly, "Please, just watch what you say and do when you're in there, Skye." he said. "I don't know what will set him off. Hell, just the sight of you walking into the room might set him off."

"I'm not making any promises to what will happen, Coulson. 'Cause I have no damn idea to what is going on in his mind."

* * *

(Elsewhere)

Ward's eyes shot to the door as a soft knock sounded on the metal doorframe. He shrunk back as far as he could go into his bed as he saw Skye walking into the room, a slight, caring smile on her face. "Y-You…" he stammered. "Real?"

Skye blinked, trying to make sense of what Ward was saying. He had been spewing pretty much complete gibberish the past few days. Nothing more than short words and broken sentences that made no sense whatsoever to anyone.

"Real?" he repeated, almost sounding like a small child. His eyes had a wild gleam to them as they kept looking Skye up and done.

Skye smiled slightly, realizing what he was asking. He wanted to know if she was real and not one of his illusions, "Yes, Grant, I'm real. And I'm not going to hurt you." she said softly, holding her hands up. "I just want to talk."

"Talk?" Ward asked, cocking his head slightly.

"Yes, I want to explain some things."

Ward gulped slowly, "What is… Real?" he asked. He pointed to the corner of the room to something only he could see. Glowering figures stood, heckling at him over and over. But they were only shadows, nameless beings that represented the confusion in his mind. "Are they real?"

Skye frowned and followed the direction of his finger, looking to the corner to see nothing whatsoever. Her gaze returned to the frightened Ward and she slowly shook her head, "No, they're not. Whatever you're seeing is just an illusion. You're sick, Grant. We're just trying to help."

"You yelled at me… I don't know why… I thought you loved… No… Shot me…" Pain filled Ward's face.

Her face fell slightly, "All of that is true, but not in the way your mind is making it out to be. I did love you, but that was before certain things happened. You hurt us, you hurt me… That's why I yelled at you. It's been a while since I shot you, but I did."

"Hurt you?" Ward asked. He looked down and then back up, "Garrett was right? Hydra was me?"

Skye clenched her fist, "Unfortunately, yes, you were. I don't know the exact reasoning behind it though. Something about being a mole for Garrett to find out why Coulson was still alive. When the Uprising came, you turned your back on us.

You kidnapped me, sent Fitzsimmons out of a plane and into the ocean, and tried to kill May. You spent several months locked up here before you escaped. You did a few more things before I shot you and left you for dead. An ex-SHIELD agent, Kara Palamas was her name, picked you up and you two became very close. Something about trying to help each other. She had been brainwashed.

You rejoined us for one mission before going off again and then kidnapping and torturing Agent Morse. Kara was killed in this and it set you off. You tried some vengeance thing on us and we tried to recapture you for a while.

But that's when we found you at the Hydra base with your memories of what you had done erased. You were made to believe that you were a perfect SHIELD agent when you really aren't. That's why we treated you so badly.

Coulson wanted to keep you that way and that's why the truth was kept from you, but we should've told you so any of this wouldn't happen. I'm sorry."

Ward's face had grown pale by now, and he kept shaking his head over and over. And Skye could hear that he was muttering to himself, despite his eyes locked onto her. "No… I'm not… I can't… Hate them… I do… Did this to me…"

Skye's face fell, "Grant?" she asked. "Are you okay?" It sounded as though something was clicking with him, but it didn't sound good. She stared to back away from the bed as Ward's body tensed up, "Grant?"

His eyes grew in fear as things started to swirl around again and again. "Your fault…" he mumbled. "All your fault…"

"Hydra did this to you, Grant. Not us. They're the ones that wiped your memories!" Skye exclaimed.

Ward's face contorted in a snarl and he lunged out of the bed and towards Skye, "You caused this! Kept it from me!" he screeched, slamming to the floor as Skye jumped to the side in fear.

"Grant, snap out of it!" she yelled. "Think, or at least try to!"

Ward rose to his feet, his hospital wear all ruffled. He continued to glare at Skye, "You're the reason… I'm like this…" he growled. "Your fault."

Skye shook her head, "We're trying to help you now, Grant. I promise. We just want to get you through all of this." she tried to explain, holding her hands up. She eyed the ICER at her side, prepared to use it. She didn't want to use her powers on him. "Just calm down, it's going to take a little while for you to get better. Doing all of this isn't going to help."

His eyes stayed locked onto Skye, "Why no help before?" he asked. "Let me be like this."

"We didn't know that this would happen. We thought that keeping everything from you would be better. Coulson… He just wanted the loyal agent he once had back. I know that it's kind of selfish, but we all wanted that version of you back." Skye explained slowly. "Please, believe me."

Ward's face softened and he took a few steps towards Skye. She held her ground, despite her growing fear. Ward looked her up and down again and slowly reached out towards her shoulder. When his hand made contact, his eyes widened in disbelief.

"You are real…" he said, a weird, small smile on his face. "Not crazy right now."

Skye nodded, trying to get him to go on, "Yes, Grant, I am real. And everything I just said is real. And believing it is the first step of coming back from whenever the hell you are. Grant, there are two different realities in your head, and only one of them is the truth. And the truth is the Hydra reality."

Ward cocked his head, still looking Skye up and down over and over, "You won't… Kill me?" he asked, coming a little closer to her. "No gun?"

"I only have an ICER, and that was just precautionary." Skye replied. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to help."

And before Skye could register what was happening, she found Ward's arms wrapped around her, holding her close. "Please help me, Skye." he mumbled. "It hurts."

Skye held her breath, surprised at what was going on. She decided to go along with it to avoid any more outbursts. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around Ward as well, nervous, "Don't worry, Grant. I, no, we'll help you get through this."

* * *

 ** _Author's Note:_** I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So, that was a much better ending to that chapter than I had originally planned. The other plan was a hell of a lot darker than just a broken Ward. Well, it seems things are starting to make sense to him now, despite still being jumbled up and prone to violent outbursts. And he'll probably be that way for awhile. Let's just hope it doesn't go south again. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 60 or so?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	14. Chapter 14 (Learn to Love Again)

**Chapter Fourteen (Learn to Love Again)**

(A Week Later)

Coulson watched as Skye talked with Ward inside of his infirmary room, which the still kept him in in case of any incidents. He shook his head and turned to look at Simmons, who stood beside him at the glass. "I don't believe it." he began. "I just don't believe it. He's dealing better, be he's still refusing to accept the real reality."

Simmons shrugged, "There's no telling to when he'll come to terms with them. I know that he still thinks he's Mr. Perfect SHIELD Agent when he's really not so. And he's still trying to block out the real memories because they cause too much pain.

But I'm surprised that his mental state is improving. He's not in as much psychosis as he was. Yes, he still deals with violent hallucinations and nightmares on a day-to-day basis, but he's not as wild as he was." she continued. "But he's still shutting us out, everyone except Skye."

Coulson sighed, "That's kind of expected though, isn't it?" he questioned. "It's almost like the Vault again, only willing to talk to Skye. But this time, it's much, much friendlier. And Skye enjoys it, well at least I think she does."

"Sir, what are you going to do with him when he's better or as close to better as that man can get?" Simmons asked, watching as Skye told Ward something that made him smile.

Coulson held his breath, "I think it's in the best intentions of keeping him here, Simmons." he replied. "Letting him go out on his own is not a good thing for a long time to come. There's no telling if and when he'll relapse, and we don't need a psychotic Ward running around hallucinating everything. That will get a lot of people killed.

Jemma, I know that you don't like the idea of him staying here from now on, but it's with the best intentions. And it's for the best of everyone." Coulson continued. "He'll be staying with us if mostly everyone gives the greenlight. I know that Skye will, I don't know about the others though."

"Sir, if it's for the best for everyone, then I'm okay with it." Simmons replied. "Bobbi is the one that you need to worry about. We don't need her trying to kill him out of spite. When Ward fully remembers what happened and is fully sane, maybe he can apologize or something. But he isn't capable of understanding what he's apologizing for." Simmons went on to explain. "His mental functioning is that great right now. That's what happens when someone loses themselves to severe psychosis like that.

He was really bad off, it's only a miracle that Skye's spending time with him is slowly helping him recover. I don't know when he'll be back to normal Ward before the 'incident', it could be a while."

Coulson nodded and sighed, looking back to Ward, "I'm just glad he's talking normally again. Just last week, he wasn't making any damn sense."

"Have you heard someone suffering from psychosis or insanity? They hardly make any sense. They ramble on and on about utter nonsense."

Coulson shrugged, "Well, at least that's over." he repeated. "Maybe things will start to get back to normal. Well, I at least hope."

* * *

(Elsewhere)

Ward smiled slightly as Skye continued to talk about what had happened to her over the past few months. Anything Ward had known about the team from that time period, mainly SHIELD's fall to now, had been erased in the first incident.

"So, you have… Powers?" Ward asked, his head slightly tilting.

Skye nodded, "Yes, I do." Her eyes settled on the bottle of water beside her. She held out her hand and sent a small shockwave out towards it, causing the bottle to be knocked over. Looking back to Ward, she laughed at his awe, "And I can do way more than that, it's just too dangerous to do so in here."

"I really lost a lot, haven't I?" Ward questioned, looking down.

"Yes, you did." Skye replied. "But it's coming all back, just very slowly."

"You think I'm crazy, right? That I'm insane?"

Skye blinked, "I," she began, but Ward decided to cut her off midsentence.

"Just admit it, Skye. I'm insane."

"Simmons did say that you did go through a bought of psychosis because of the conflicting memories. They were fighting for dominance and that's what caused you to go insane." Skye finally explained. "But you're getting better."

"But there's still no way that I was a traitor pretty much working for Hydra." Ward said, his mind still set on that thought.

"Believe it or not, Grant, that's the cold, hard truth. There's no avoiding it."

Ward's face paled and he lowered his gaze to the floor. He remained silent, fighting back heckling laughs in his head. Mostly Garrett's.

Skye frowned at Ward's fallen emotion, afraid that something would spawn out of it. Like another episode perhaps. She took his hand, causing him to look up to her smile, "Look, Grant, I'll help you get through this." she said. "You just got to learn to accept some things that aren't, well, pretty."

Ward shook his head, "What if I don't want to?" he asked quietly. "I… I want it to stay the way I remember."

"Grant, there are some hard truths that all of us wish that weren't real, but we have to learn to deal with it and put us behind us, right? Look, you're doing better now. You're not wanting to kill us, you're not kidnapping someone, and you're not locked up. I think Coulson's giving you another chance, and you need to take it." Skye said, still holding his hand.

Ward looked down again and decided to remain quiet.

Skye knew that she shouldn't push him anymore, in fear of causing something. Instead, she reached underneath the chair she was sitting in and pulled out two small gray rectangular boxes. Something inside of them shook as she moved them, causing Ward to divert his attention to them.

A slight smile formed on his face as he realized what they were, "Battleship?" he asked.

Skye nodded, "I knew that you didn't forget that." she said, smiling back. "You could never forget that."

"But at a time like this?"

"No, I think now is a perfect time. Call it a mental exercise or something, help get your thinking back to close as normal as it can get." Skye replied, setting out the game in front of them on a small table. "And besides, we haven't done this in forever."

Ward smiled, "I guess we haven't." he said, opening his part of the game.

"Best two out of three?"

"Uh, sure."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So short chapter, but it wasn't that serious (Especially when it ends on Battleship.) But it shows that Ward's slowly getting better and Skye's the only one he's letting help him. So I guess that's good? Maybe? I don't know. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	15. Chapter 15 (I Came Out From Under)

**Chapter Fifteen (I Came Out From Under)**

(Sometime Later)

"So, Mr. Ward, tell me what you remember. Tell me what you can remember about Garrett and Hydra."

Ward shifted uncomfortably under Dr. Garner's gaze. He knew this day would come, the day that would prove that he wasn't crazy and his memory was back, but it still made him uncomfortable. He and the doctor were the only ones in the room. Coulson decided that it would be best if no one else was in there.

"I, um," Ward began, a slight tremor to his voice. "I…"

Andrew nodded, giving him a slight smile, "It's okay, Grant." he reassured him. "No one's going to hurt you this time. I believe that they've moved past the anger. They just want you to get better. And remembering and admitting the things that you've done is the first step of doing so."

Ward gulped, clenching his fists as he did so, "I…. I remember being in juvie. Garrett came and he… He broke me out basically. Convinced me that he was doing it for SHIELD. Threw me in the woods for five years, with nothing but a dog. And when the time came that he told me about Hydra, I didn't question it.

I believed that Garrett was my savior or something. Thought I owed him my life. Hell, I don't know." he continued. "I really don't know."

Andrew nodded once more, showing that he was acknowledging Ward's words. But he'd never heard of Ward being thrown in the woods. But now, it was just another layer upon the cake that was Ward's mental issues. Another issue that had to be worked through once his memory was back.

"Then what, Grant?" he asked. "Is that why you followed him throughout SHIELD and Hydra?"

Ward shrugged, "I'm not sure why I did it. I see now that it was stupid to follow that asshole so blindly, but I didn't see it."

"Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?" Andrew asked.

"I think?"

"It's where something happens that causes a person to defend or have empathy to an abuser or captor, which Garrett was pretty much. A psychological problem. That's why you protected Garrett so much, why you never put the blame on him." Andrew explained. "And that's why you thought you owed him so much when you really didn't."

Ward blinked and looked down, "I…." he trailed off and became quiet.

Andrew took a breath and decided that it was best that he moved on to another question. "Go on, what else do you remember?" he asked. "Forget about Garrett for a second. What do you remember about your time on this team? All the way from the beginning to the Uprising to your memory loss."

After a long, shaky breath, Ward finally continued. "I was on the team to get some kind of information for Garrett, that's still foggy to me. My mission was to infiltrate the team and the the info, don't make any kind of attachments. But I did. I became friends with Fitzsimmons. I won't mention the 'relationship' I had with May, that… I don't know what that was.

But Skye… I will admit that I fell in love with her, something that I wouldn't normally allow to happen, but it did. That should've been what caused me to realize that the team was the most important thing that I had, but it didn't. When the Uprising came, I sided with Garrett. And that was my downfall.

That got me into the fight at Cybertek and into lock-up here for several months until they decided to sent me to my asshole brother. Manage to escape from there, when got me back to Hydra so I could take Skye to her father. And which got me shot and left for dead in San Juan."

"And that's when you met Agent Palamas?" Andrew urged on.

Ward nodded, "She was lost and so was I. She took me in and saved my life, which caused my blind devotion to her, that I was willing to do anything for her. Got her back to the team so she could kidnap Agent Morse which led to the torture then Kara getting killed. After that's really hazy."

"So that means some time after that is when Hydra got you and wiped your memories." Andrew confirmed. "But this is good. It does seem like you remember a whole lot, but maybe not everything."

"There are still some things that don't seem right in my head." Ward said, nodding his head.

"But it'll get better in time, Grant. Working through these things is the first step to getting better. Your memories come first, then your mental health, and then the relationships with this team." Andrew explained, standing up. "But I feel like the relationships won't be that hard to mend now, maybe only with a few people. I feel like Coulson trusts you again, and maybe May. Fitzsimmons do seem to like you. And Skye," He smiled, "I honestly do think she loves you again, Grant. Don't get me wrong there. The others…. Well, I don't know about them."

Ward's face fell, "Wait. What did you say about Skye?" he asked.

Andrew laughed, "I said, I think that she loves you again. But I might just be making assumptions. Talk to her, Grant. See what she has to say."

Ward gulped, "Y-yes sir."

* * *

(A Little Bit Later)

Skye sat down next to Ward on the couch in the main room, "So, I hear that you're actually recalling a whole lot, Grant." she said, punching his shoulder.

Ward frowned and rubbed where Skye had punched him, "I guess so. There are still things that I can't exactly remember what happened. They're like blurs in my mind. Like the memory's damaged or something." he explained. "I really don't know."

Skye sighed, "Again, it'll come in time. You just can't expect everything to come rushing back and make perfect sense to you. You'll just end up like you did when you went and sought out the truth yourself. You ended up in a messed-up mental state for days. No, that wasn't messed-up. You were completely insane, Grant."

"I'd like to forget that, Skye." Ward said, looking down. "I really would. Hell, I would like to forget everything again. But look where that got me. I guess it's just time to move on, put the past behind us and start again."

Skye nodded, "That's probably the best thing. I'm hoping that Coulson will offer you a place back with us once Dr. Garner says that you're okay." she stated. She took Ward's hand, "But will you take it?"

"As long as everyone will accept me back, but I know that everyone won't." he replied.

"Look, Bobbi, Hunter, and Mack don't really know you. They don't know the man you can be. Grant, I know that you weren't faking a whole lot of that. You can be a really kind and caring man. You can't fake that."

Ward gulped, remembering Garner's words from earlier. About Skye likely loving him again. "Skye, I want to ask you something." he began. "And I want you to be truthful with me."

Skye frowned, "Uh, sure. What is it?" she asked.

"Do you… Do you love me again?" he asked.

Skye froze up and blushed, "W-Where is this coming from?" she stammered.

"Dr. Garner said that he had noticed it. Said that I should talk to you. Guess it helps me work through things." Ward explained. "I just… I just want an honest answer, Skye. I really don't care whether it's yes or no."

Skye bit her lip, really thinking about Ward's question. "I… Grant, to be honest… I do. In a way. It's not total full-blown, head-over-heels love. Things still need to be worked through in order for us to get to that." she responded. "But, I do care for you. I want you to get better. I want things to be the way they were before Hydra bit us in the ass."

Ward raised an eyebrow, "So, is that a yes or a no? That was a pretty complicated answer for a simple yes or no question."

Skye blinked and looked off to the side before returning her gaze back to the man, "Grant, to plainly put it… Yes, I do. But, it's a weird love. I don't know how to explain it. I don't think that no one can."

Ward couldn't help from smiling just a bit to know that Skye loved him once again, even if it was slightly. He knew that everything was really starting to change. And maybe, just maybe, everything could be left behind in the past and something new could begin.

Well, maybe.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. Sorry for the wait! Haven't felt good for the past week and didn't feel like writing. But I'm back! So, Ward meets with D.r Garner and shows that he does remember a good bit. And Skye admits something that means the world to Ward. So a good chapter overall. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	16. Chapter 16 (Can We Start Again?)

**Chapter Sixteen (Can We Start Again?)**

(Approximately Two Weeks Later)

Ward approached Coulson's closed office door, standing outside of it with no idea of what to do. Coulson had called him in and Ward was unsure of what the man wanted. Some paranoia remained from his whole traumatic experience and that made him jumpy about every little thing. Especially when it was the director of SHIELD calling him in.

He went to knock on the door, but froze with his hand hovering a few inches from the door. He let his hand drop, "I can't do this." he muttered. "He's probably going to kill me."

"Who says he's gonna do that?"

Ward froze up and turned to see Skye standing behind him, "I, uh, I don't know. It's just that,"

"Grant, Coulson's not gonna kill you. If he was, he would've done it by now." she replied, coming over to him. "It's about something totally different."

Ward gulped and frowned, "You already know what this is about, don't you?" he asked.

A small smirk formed on Skye's face, "I'm not saying anything, Grant. You just need to see what Coulson wants yourself."

"C-Can you come with me?" he stammered.

Skye still couldn't believe how different Ward was after everything. He wasn't quite the brave agent he had been. He was jumpy and hesitant around everyone. Skye couldn't blame him though, he had went through hell and back to get to this moment.

And his entire demeanor had changed. Now, he was extremely friendly and not as cold or cocky as he had been. Skye knew that this was the real Ward, the trauma had stripped away the false layers and had revealed someone totally different. But there still was some cockiness in his attitude though.

Skye smiled slightly, "I think you'll be fine. You won't have my back for everything, you know." she responded. "Go on ahead, we can meet up later."

"But," Ward began to protest.

Skye opened the door and pushed him inside, "You'll be fine."

Ward gulped and watched as the door shut. He heard a laugh behind him and he turned to see Coulson standing at his desk.

"So Skye had to force you in here, I see." he commented. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna bite. I understand your anxiety about this, but trust me. This isn't bad. This is probably the best thing you've heard in awhile." He motion for Ward to take a seat in a chair in front of the desk.

"Other than the confirmation that I'm not crazy?" Ward asked, sliding down in the chair.

"Okay, maybe not as good as that. But you'll still like what I've got to say." Coulson replied, sitting in his own chair.

"So you're not going to kill me?"  
"No, I have no reason to now, Grant." Coulson began. "You've more than proved that the man you once was is gone and isn't coming back. You're not the bad guy anymore."

"T-That's nice to know."

Coulson nodded, "And Dr. Garner has cleared you for the most part. You still have a few issues you've got to work through, like your paranoia and a few other things. But for the most part, you're okay." he explained. "And he also cleared you for field missions."

Ward straightened up, "Field missions?" he asked. "Wait, does that mean?"

Coulson nodded again, "Yes, I'm offering you a place back on the team. No restrictions since it seems that you're fully trustworthy. Even though you will be watched closely for a while to make sure everything is going okay." he responded. "I've talked to the others and they're all mainly for it."

"Mainly?"

"There were a few objections. Morse is still a little hesitant and so is Hunter. But the others do think that you're perfectly fine for being back on the team now. And of course, Skye's all for it."

Ward blushed slightly before regaining his composure, "No restrictions? None at all?" he asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but that just seems too weird."

"Restricting you at this point wouldn't be in the best interest of everything. You've been through enough as it is, Grant." Coulson replied. "So, what do you say? What about it?"

Ward gulped, knowing that there was nowhere else he could go. Everyone here had warmed-up to him during the time he was recovering, so there was no hostility. So what did he have to lose?

"Fine. I guess so." Ward responded. "W-What do I have to lose?"

Coulson smiled, "Now that's the spirit." he said, standing to his feet. "I would normally say to not disappoint me with this, but I see no need to say that. I do honestly think that you're fine. And that's a gift coming from me." He held out his hand towards Ward.

Ward stood up and gingerly took Coulson's hand, "Sir, I-I don't think there's any need to worry now." he stammered.

"Good."

* * *

(A Little Later)

Ward walked in his room, looking for something he had left in there. A voice made him freeze as soon as he got to his dresser.

"Howdy there, Agent."

Ward scoffed and smiled, turning around to see Skye standing in the doorway, "So you did know about all of it!" he exclaimed.

"See? I told you that there was nothing to worry about." Skye said, coming in and sitting on the edge of Ward's bed. "You just worry too much."

"I can't help it, Skye. Something I've got to work through. You'd be scared of everything if you were insane just a few weeks ago." Ward said, coming over and sitting next to Skye. "I can't help it."

Skye took Ward's hand, "And I know that. But you've gotten a hell of a lot better than just last week. Fitz scared you. Fitz of all people."

"He shouldn't have had come out of nowhere like that."

"I thought you were the T-1000."

"Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore." Ward admitted. "Everything you knew about who I am was washed away by the incident. I'm not that guy anymore. That Grant Ward is a ghost, he's dead."

Skye poked Ward in the chest, causing him to flinch, "Yeah, I know that. That Grant Ward was really an asshole. I didn't like him."

"Who am I now?" Ward asked.

"You're my Grant Ward."

'What does that mean?"  
"That mean that you're a nice, caring guy that still has a few things to work out." Skye explained. "A hell of a lot better than the old guy."

Ward smiled, "I like this new guy." he said. "So does that mean you like him too?"

"Didn't we establish this two weeks ago?" Skye questioned.

"Oh, yeah." Ward trailed off and looked around the room, trying to avoid Skye's gaze.

Skye noticed that he was growing fidgety, a sign that he was growing anxious and unsure of what to do. A slight smile twitched on Skye's face and she placed her hand on Ward's stubble-covered cheek, "Hey." she said.

Before Ward knew what was going on, Skye had pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. His eyes widened and he decided to go along with it. It had been a long time since this had happened.

Skye pulled back and smiled, slightly laughing at Ward's flustered expression, "Does that confirm things for you?" she asked.

"I-I, uh, I…" Ward stuttered, blushing. "I guess so."

"Well, I guess that's that."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So, there's only one more chapter after this. Ward's accepted back to the team and it really does seem that Skye loves him again. The next chapter will probably be a time jump of a year or so. So be prepared for that. Keep reading and please favorite, follow, and/or review! (Can we make it to 83 or so?) ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


	17. Chapter 17 (And All We Regained)

**Chapter Seventeen (And All We Regained)**

(Over a Year Later)

Ward burst down the wooden door with a violent kick and barged into the room with a snarl on his face and a gun, not an ICER, gripped in his hand. He pointed the weapon out in front of him, ready to fight, but he didn't find one. All he found was just what he was looking for.

Skye.

Glee and relief etched itself onto her face as she realized that it was Ward who had burst into the room. "Grant!" she exclaimed, wriggling against the ropes that held her to the chair. "Hurry up and get me out of here!"

Hydra had captured her and Ward had been the first one to run to her rescue before they could subject her to whatever horrors they had been planning. Hydra was never going to leave them alone.

Ward sighed in relief and shoved his gun into its holster that hung from his side. "Couldn't you just have quaked yourself out of here?" he asked.

Skye nodded up towards the ceiling, "Power inhibitors, can't do anything." she said. "Now cut me out of here, Grant. I don't have all day. Hurry up and do so before Hydra comes back."

"There's my Skye." Ward stated with a laugh, reaching for the knife that hung from his side, opposite of his gun. "You better be glad that I broke protocol to come and get you." He walked behind Skye and with one, swift motion, he cut the ropes from her wrists.

Skye got up, rubbing her wrists and gawking at Ward, "What the hell did you do?" he asked.

Ward shrugged, "Nothing much. Just stole one of the Quinjets and came by myself. Coulson was taking too long to figure out what the hell to do." he explained. "I'm probably gonna be in a hell of a lot of trouble when we get back."

"You've seriously got to stop risking yourself to save others, Grant." Skye scolded. "I think you've already made up for the whole Hydra debacle. And I told you, that doesn't matter anymore."

With a roll of his eyes, Ward groaned, "Let's just get the hell out of here, babe." he said. "Before Hydra gets the both of us. We can deal with things later." He nodded as a siren rang out, "See? We've wasted too much time already." He sheathed his knife and took his gun back out. "Now we're gonna have to fight our way out."

A smile formed on Skye's face, "I actually don't mind that. I want to give these jackasses a taste of their own medicine." she chided. "Payback's a bitch."

Ward frowned and watched as Skye stormed out of the door, "Skye!" he exclaimed, running after her. His gun was gripped tightly as he found Skye sending a shockwave towards a Hydra agent.

The Hydra agent hit the wall behind him and fell unconscious on the ground. Skye turned around and smiled at Ward.

"See? I have it handled."

"If you did have it 'handled', then you wouldn't be being rescued right now."

"Shut it before I get you too."

Ward shrugged, walking past her, "Whatever." he stated. "If you say so. I still wish I could do something like that. Then I wouldn't have to carry this damn gun around all the time."

"Don't get your hopes up, it's not as spectacular as it looks."

"Let's get back before Coulson sends an entire armada after us, if he hasn't already.

"You're to blame, you're the one that broke the rules to come get me."

"But I got you out of here, didn't I?"

"Don't get cocky yet, asshole."

* * *

(Later)

"What the hell were you thinking, Ward?!" Coulson exclaimed, glaring at Ward. "You could've got yourself seriously hurt or killed! You don't break protocol like that!"

Ward shrunk back under Coulson's stare. Even after a year, he was still paranoid and edgy about certain things, and being yelled at was one of them. "But," he began quietly.

"I know that Skye's alright!" Coulson snapped. "But you could've died and we could've possibly lost the both of you! You should've waited for my orders and I bet Skye would've still been okay! What were you thinking?!"

"He wanted to save me, sir." Skye said, walking into the room. "Don't be so harsh on him; his thinking still isn't quite right from last year. Cut him some slack. I think the only thing on his mind was getting me back, and he didn't care about the consequences."

Coulson breathed and ran a hand through his hair, "Skye, he could've gotten himself killed."

"But is he dead? No. He's not even hurt. We're both fine and you should be glad about that." Skye protested, crossing her arms as she casted a glance over to a semi-cowering Ward. "Coulson, come on. He's still trying. At least I'm here."

Coulson frowned, looking between Skye and Ward, trying to figure out what to say in response. After what seemed like an eternity to Ward, he finally spoke. "Fine, I'm not going to do any actions against you Ward, mostly because the both of you are okay. But consider this your warning. There will be repercussions the next time you do something like this.

He walked off and left the two alone.

Ward slunk back over to Skye, "Have I ever told you that I love you?" he asked, giving her a cheeky smile.

Skye blushed and rolled her eyes, "Be glad that I was here to save you this time. Coulson doesn't play around, especially since it's you." she replied.

"Hasn't he figured out that Hydra isn't a part of me anymore?" Ward questioned, wrapping his arm around Skye as they walked out of the room. "That died when the whole _incident_ began. He should know that."

"Grant, it's just the magnitude of the whole situation. Even though you've proved yourself time and time again, it's still hard to put full trust in you."

Ward stopped and frowned, letting his arms drop to his side, "So that means you don't fully trust me?" he asked, a broken tone forming in his voice. He still had issues when it came to trusting what was real. He still had issues discerning reality from fiction.

"I trust you enough to let you be my boyfriend, right?" Skye asked, raising an eyebrow. "Right?"

Ward gulped, blushing slightly before nodding hesitantly, "I-I guess so." he stammered. "I mean, yes. Right?"

Skye scoffed and smiled, kissing him on the cheek, "I do trust you, Grant. I and do love you. But your relations with other people may take a little longer to heal." she replied.

Ward smiled a weak, sad smile, "I'm still sick though. I'm still not right up here." He pointed at his head.

"And anyone would be after going through something like that. It's gonna take time. A year's not gonna cut it. Garner said it himself. It may take another year or so before you're back to your normal mental state."

"I guess you're right." Ward mumbled, rubbing his left arm. "Can't let that hold me back though."

"Yep. Now come on, Fitzsimmons wanted us to watch a movie with them or something." she urged, grabbing his arm and dragging him down the hall.

"God help me."

"Stop complaining and do what I say, Robot."

"We're back with that?"

"Yep. The robot with programming issues."

"Stop that!"

"Nope!"

* * *

 _END_

* * *

 ** _Author's Note:_** I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So that's the end in the best way I could end it! Ward's still dealing with issues from the incident, but at least him and Skye are together, right? So I do hope that you enjoyed this really strange and angsty fic. Please leave a review if you can! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.


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